“The horses in Rohan are supposed to represent the flowing and wild lands of that great midwestern American state, Nebraska. Great grandpa John Ronald Reuel T-kien told me about it when I told him I was gonna go study business and management abroad at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln as part of the UK’s foreign worldwide […] Read more
Jim Toad worked his dark sweaty hands into the grime of human existence and emerged with dirty, grease caked hair that reminded his sweatbaby rachel of the face of the good lord himself. He could feel the subtle and intimate vibrations of his Dick’s Dealer Ford Focus as he slammed a sinewed muscular arm with […] Read more
Janet, your Mom, marched into the Michael’s in your hometown today on a righteous mission. She was going to get her loving hands on the absolute biggest, shiniest, most eye catching balls to ever grace the side of a Christmas tree. After a quick assessment, she found Michael’s balls to be woefully lacking. “These can’t […] Read more
“Now I know this is a side tangent and a little bit irrelevant, but just wow. Have you seen this stuff on Twitter?” He says as he points intensely at his phone. “I have been going on Twitter a lot lately and boy there’s a lot of really wild stuff on there.” “Like have you […] Read more
My body’s ability to squirm and writhe around while emanating profound fury at the very sight of a person is seriously underestimated, especially when it comes to people who look like they know a thing or two. Who does this guy think he is? Magellan? Answering only the questions he knows in class and then […] Read more
Jeremy, this is the fifth time you’ve been here this week and I have a East Asian civ midterm in two hours, you need to finish whatever you’re doing in my shower and get out of here right now. I know it’s nice and warm and moist but there are plenty of other spots in […] Read more
The broken, pothole-covered, dark murky waters surrounding University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s Computer Science and Math building Avery Hall create a fog of doom and dread. It’s hard not to become frighteningly frozen solid by fear when the misty and furious gales come down from the dread prairie and into the parking lot. Like Merry and Pippin […] Read more
Just like the recent blockbuster anti-hero movie “Venom,” the online wallet app known as Venmo also makes me question all of my life choices and financial decisions. The whole business of me putting a trash can emoji in the “what’s it for” section of the payment info just screams to the rest of the world […] Read more
Hark! Dear champion! I implore you to please act as our savior in this dire and dark hour! The village of Honeywell is under attack by a wicked clan of hobgoblins who call themselves “the Pit Eaters!” What detestable creatures they are! They’ll kill us all for sure! Their leader, a giant werebear named Gorgash […] Read more
TRICK: Fellas, I’m gonna be frank with you: we’re the worst football team in the history of the great state of Nebraska. We can’t even flinch without getting a penalty and our defense is pretty much like a jail with paper walls. But you know what? None of that matters if you cheat, and cheating […] Read more
