By Jim Walton Recently I was watching a documentary about how half of the world’s population makes less than two dollars a day. This made me very angry. How can people be so stupid? I mean, making money isn’t that hard. All you have to do is wait until your dad dies and then inherit […] Read more
Bobby Bowden was given one last chance to coach his former team last Saturday, when he accidentally picked up a headset and began coaching in the fourth quarter. Bowden was seen running onto the field and was heard screaming about “better blocking” before picking up an extra headset. Security guards were unable to stop the […] Read more
Local Student Allen Rills announced, to no one in particular, that he was really enjoying the summary to Shakespeare’s Macbeth. The 2 and a half page summary from SparkNotes was recommended to Rills from his best friend and classmate who had read it the night before, stating “it’s a totally in-depth summary with all the […] Read more
Nebraska Offensive Coordinator Shawn Watson said he hopes that the zone read call is a nice little surprise for the defense in the upcoming weeks. “I know I’ve already called it 35 times per game, but seriously — what defensive coach would possibly think I’d run it again?” Watson said. “I mean, it hasn’t worked […] Read more
The head pastor of First Baptist Church of Dallas announced that he will no longer be living by the Bible after learning that Jesus, Christianity’s savior, was a Jew. This is the first time pastor Richard Dickinson has forsaken the whole Bible but he has already made headlines for his decision last year to stop […] Read more
A new report released this week is saying that the economy is not doing well right now. The author of the report, blogger and video game enthusiast Joe Nich, said the report draws its conclusions from the Department of Labor, which has all of its statistics right on its website. “I was looking up Mariska […] Read more
Patriots, friends and Americans, we are at a crossroads in this country. America is changing, and not for the better. Since Obama has taken control, he has presided over a government takeover of not one but two major aspects of American life, health care and finance. And after what happened to Dr. Laura a couple […] Read more
Despite a string of critical injuries and issues with consistency among their white pitchers, Red Sox fans are sure that this season’s problems are the sole responsibility of the team’s African-American players. “I mean, it’s not that I’m racist or anything. I have black friends. But if Adrian Beltre would hit the fucking ball better […] Read more
It’s official. The 2010 NBA Finals will pit Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers against Lebron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. The announcement comes at least a month earlier than expected. The NBA said its reasoning for the early announcement is to “allow fans the opportunity” to plan ahead. “We have always been a […] Read more
The annual “One Day Without Shoes” event has come and gone and once again it has shown several thousand people what it is like to wear TOMS Shoes. The event, which asks people to go an entire day without wearing any footwear, is hosted by TOMS shoes, an American footwear company that makes alpargata-style shoes […] Read more
