Nancy Grace, host of her self-titled show, suffered a severe meltdown after she was forced to conclude that the facts of a case were inconclusive. Though Grace strove to condemn a suspected murderer, after reviewing the facts of the legal matter on air she realized that perhaps it was too early to pass judgement. “You […] Read more
It has only been a month since the 2011-2012 Nebraska Men’s basketball season ended, but loyal fans of the Cornhuskers are already looking forward to next year. “I love the Huskers, and always have,” says 51 year-old Lincoln resident Gerald Duval. “But every team has their ups and their downs, and next year’s going to […] Read more
The Antelope Valley Parkway, a multi-year construction project marred by delays and funding problems, has finally come to an end. Nature reclaimed the stretch of land late Monday evening by creating a massive sinkhole. Four years of labor, millions of dollars in equipment, and three bikers were swallowed by the massive hole, in addition to […] Read more
Miles Simmons, sophomore Economics major and new Runza employee, has not yet begun to treat his job as the low-income, dead end position it is, sources inside the restaurant indicate. Simmons, who began his first day at the fast-food restaurant by repeatedly stating he was “grateful for the opportunity,” has apparently not realized the hopelessness […] Read more
Despite her repeated attempts to awaken the University of Nebraska-Lincoln community to various dangers, the woman commonly known as “the blue coat lady” continues to be ignored, ostracised, and even mocked by the people she is attempting to save. The blue coat lady, who claims God himself appeared before her in 1994, has since dedicated […] Read more
In a move that was greeted by lowered confidence in the housing market and an uptick in interest on his Match.com page, Chairman of the Federal Reserve Ben Bernanke announced that federal interest rates for home loans would be dropped from already historic lows, and that he was ready to begin dating again. The chairman, […] Read more
After an immensely successful 19-year career concluded, many in the basketball world wondered what was left for Shaquille O’Neal to accomplish. A 4-time NBA champion and 15 time All-Star with a platinum rap album to his credit, Shaq continues to make waves in his post-professional career. Above: Can you pick which two players are better […] Read more
Quite apart from being Second-in-command to the Big Red button, it’s really not bragging to say I’m also an expert in a lot of other stuff. I’ve ridden a lot of trains in my day, for instance. And nothing can really compare with the feeling of sharing one magical, long, lonely ride from DC to […] Read more
During a campaign stop in Brooklyn, New York, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney decided to evoke an issue that has been so far neglected during the Republican primary: states’ rights. Flanked by Ad-Rock and MCA of the Beastie Boys, a visibly inebriated Romney announced that “it’s time to bring the fight to the PEOPLE. We […] Read more
Earlier today, area girlfriend Lisa Miller mused about a thought that has been at the back of her mind for quite some time: she could, probably, do better than her current boyfriend. “Back when we started dating in 2009, I knew he wasn’t great,” said the 23 year-old Miller. “But I also figured that he […] Read more
