After years of abusive working conditions and poor wages, the staff of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s satirical student paper The DailyER decided to unionize in order to secure a more hospitable work environment, decrying the strange and sadistic treatment they received over the last several years. “It’s been so bad for so long,” an anonymous […] Read more
When Alexander Christofferson saw the flashing of blue and red in his rear view mirror as he drove down Vine Street, a cool, broad grin stretched across his face. He felt no fear nor dread, only the confidence that comes with the privilege of his skin color. “I knew I was gonna be fine,” Christofferson […] Read more
Following several weeks of talking mad shit about me behind my back, sources close to the situation report that local coward Chuck Wessley doesn’t have the balls to say it to my face. Tensions came to a boiling point Friday night when Wessley reportedly said I was a “tool” and an “immature meat head,” prompting […] Read more
As a result of paying off massive debt from student loans as well as an abundant amount of borrowed cash from every close family member and friend, area man Connor McClung confirmed to sources early Wednesday morning that he is just barely able to scrape together enough spare change to renew his gold-level membership to […] Read more
Once again failing to adequately discern the subtle, nonverbal messages from others, area man Mark Philson reportedly left a party last Friday night having destroyed any remnant of a laidback, tension free social gathering due to his inability to read social cues past a third grade level. “Hey who wants to bet that these two […] Read more
If something can go wrong, it will go wrong. At least that’s what Murphy’s Law, the oft quoted and somewhat clichéd phrase, suggests. But in “Interstellar,” Christopher Nolan’s ambitious new space odyssey, Murphy’s law is revised to state that anything that can happen will happen, and in the case of this film, it’s true. When […] Read more
Citing multiple articles published in the Dailyer concerning obnoxious, inconsiderate and unintelligent roommates, area man Eric Holthaus recently requested that the Dailyer “stop writing articles about him.” “Seriously, James, I’m tired of this shit,” Holthaus stated in an interview. “If you have a problem with me then just tell me upfront instead of passive aggressively […] Read more
[title size=”1 to 6″ style=”options: default, sidebar”]”Cursive”[/title] [title size=”3″ style=”options: default, sidebar”]By James Crowl[/title] If people were fonts She’d make beautiful words; Her consonants supple, Each vowel so stunning; No need for italics, Letters lovely as they are; No edits, no revisions, Her script alluring enough; Capital “L’s” like curlicue hairs, Loop once, loop twice, […] Read more
In a move destined to be remembered as a turning point for social equality, local homosexual Micah Stephens courageously revealed to the public that he is, and always has been, a passionate fan of professional American football, becoming the first openly NFL fan within the gay community. “It’s time that I finally accept and embrace […] Read more
As students are working to formulate ASUN presidential parties, including running mates, platforms and campaign strategies, one detail holds precedence over all others: finding a catchy party name. For candidate Jeff Gauthier, the answer to this problem is both provocative and stimulating, one that may bring waves of pleasure to voters all across campus. “One […] Read more
