The University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s budget is on the chopping block, and you know whose fault it is? It’s YOURS! YOU, the students, have been taking advantage of UNL’s generosity for years, wastefully using up every resource in sight. Here are some tips on how to be a better campus citizen and save the school we […] Read more
Controversy has been swirling in recent weeks about the political climate on the University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s campus. Many students and faculty members have insisted that claims of hostility toward conservative viewpoints have been baseless and unsubstantiated, but now, UNL’s critics have found their smoking gun. As part of their ongoing investigation, the Nebraska Governor’s office sent […] Read more
So you can’t tell a huddle from a Hail Mary, but you found yourself sitting in front of the big NFL games with your uncle Bob. To learn how to scream at the TV like a true football fan, read this simple breakdown of what to yell and when to yell it.
This season, Memorial Stadium has rolled out some exciting new food and beverage options to enhance the Husker gameday experience. Here at The DailyER, we put each and every touchdown treat to the test and rated them all on a five-star scale. Valentino’s buffet vendors Valentino’s pizza has been a Husker football staple for decades, but […] Read more
When The DailyER sent me to watch your 11-year-old daughter play violin in her 6th-grade orchestra’s Fall Concert at Mickle Middle School, my expectations were high. Sure, your daughter, Stephanie, has only played the violin for a few months, and this was her very first public performance. And with so many great violinists dominating today’s […] Read more
Now that college football season is underway, fans everywhere are showing their allegiance to their favorite teams. However, some troubling new information has cast doubt on the loyalty of a well-known brand. The controversy began when die-hard Nebraska Cornhuskers fan Carson Burns was visiting his brother at Michigan State University and saw an advertisement on […] Read more
When University of Nebraska-Lincoln freshman Hannah Peterson filed a “Fix-It Ticket” to report the broken cable TV in her Abel Residence Hall dorm room, she expected a visit from a member of the hall’s maintenance staff. She never could have imagined that that staff member would be professional stand-up comedian Larry the Cable Guy. Within […] Read more
Since the start of the school year, pedestrians and drivers alike have complained about congestion on 16th street caused by the removal of traffic lights. Now, the City of Lincoln has found a solution. Early Monday morning, drivers discovered that traffic lights had returned to all of 16th street’s major intersections, but with an unexpected […] Read more
When students at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln eat at the various dining halls located across campus, they probably think they’re supporting a vibrant food service economy. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Following a months-long investigation, The DailyER has obtained decades of financial records revealing that all five dining halls are fully owned and operated by UNL. This stunning discovery has shattered the common perception among students that each dining hall is its own distinct brand.
“This is really a shock to me,” said sophomore microbiology major Sarah Henson upon reading the report. “I always thought I had choices as a consumer, but I sure was wrong.”
“Last year, I was unsatisfied with the quality of Harper’s pasta, so I took my business to Selleck, thinking I could vote with my dollars,” said junior broadcasting major Wyatt Huffman. “Everything I know is a lie.”
Furthermore, records indicate that the monopolization of campus food options even extends to the various residence hall C-Stores, as well as “Grab-N-Go” choices such as Husker Heroes and Husker Hoagies.
“Now that you mention it, I always did have my suspicions about Husker Heroes and Husker Hoagies,” Henson admitted. “But I assumed the ‘Husker’ thing was just a coincidence.”
UNL refused to comment on the report, or on the allegations that the university has been using the monopoly to systematically increase dining prices for years.
“This is just another example of a failure of capitalism,” explained UNL economics professor Dr. Helen Merritt. “By forcing out competition, the university has not only artificially inflated prices, but also limited innovation in the campus dining sector. We all love Mini Pizza Mondays, but with a competing dining hall, we could have had Mini Taco Tuesdays too!”
“That’s why I’m calling on the United States Justice Department to intervene and break up this dining giant immediately,” she added.
In the wake of these revelations, students have found themselves questioning which of their other on-campus choices could be just an illusion.
“Does this mean that when I take classes with two different professors, my tuition money still goes to the same place?” wondered sophomore English major Timothy Rios. “This changes everything.”
With so many questions now swirling about collusion on campus, The DailyER would like to assure its readers that it remains committed to journalistic independence by being entirely unprofitable.
At press time, The DailyER has been looking into a bombshell allegation that claims the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and University of Nebraska-Omaha could be operating under the same umbrella.
Lincoln, Nebraska, is known for its extensive network of bicycle trails, which provide cyclists an easy and fun way to traverse the city. But people who prefer driving cars may have been feeling left out — until now. City traffic engineer Ron Canfield recently announced a $25 million project that will add car lanes to […] Read more
