Money is not always easy to manage. When times are hard, there is simply not enough to go around, and such is the case with the State of Nebraska’s revenue for 2018. Governor Pete Ricketts, like his hairline, cannot simply comb over the state’s budget without first addressing the roots of recession. “We’re facing a […] Read more
In an eruption that made the Pinnacle Bank Arena resemble a watermelon stuffed with an M-80, the Nebraska men’s basketball team accidentally played too hard against the Iowa Hawkeyes last Saturday, triggering a thermonuclear explosion and sending the state into fallout. The crowd of 15,268 were left saturated in radiation, causing fans to resemble sickly green […] Read more
City officials are still awash with uncertainty after an incident that sent shockwaves throughout Lincoln on Thursday. What started out as a seemingly innocuous press conference quickly turned into a baffling spectacle after it was revealed that Mayor Chris Beutler had actually been a yellowfin tuna posing as a politician all this time. The mayhem […] Read more
The Nebraska Public Service Commission has reaffirmed their efforts to make things riskier for the state’s citizens by extending the Keystone XL pipeline route enormously. According to previous DailyER reports, parcels of land in Memorial Stadium have been used to facilitate the pipeline. The latest announcement from the NPSC extended the pipeline through O Street and beyond […] Read more
The cold truth is: we live in an era of misinformation. Say what you will about technology and social media’s convenience; having that much data thrown at your eyeballs makes keeping track of what is distorted or genuine a nightmare. Net neutrality is just starting to come to light for most, including basketball fans. While […] Read more
Local strongman Todd Svensen has maintained a constant peak physical state, besting even the strongest of homo sapiens with sheer strength and power. He used one simple method: taking everything that is burdensome, negative or problematic on planet Earth and carrying it around on his shoulders. “It gets a little heavy sometimes, especially apathy,” Svensen […] Read more
In a time where the United States is seemingly driven into further social and political divide each day, only a handful of souls remain to bridge the gap between the opposing ends of all spectrums by exemplifying what it means to promote true equality: by hating everyone, regardless of who they are or what they stand […] Read more
In what turned into absolute carnage among chess-playing intellectuals on Saturday, eyewitnesses described the violence that ensued during the world’s first full-contact chess tournament. “There were some unspeakable things that happened at that tournament,” said paramedic Terry Shroedecker. “My God, the things people do in the name of sport. I’ll never understand it.” Accounts of […] Read more
Good news has finally arrived for downtown denizens in Lincoln: the city is now offering free parking in all of its garages for the first 11 seconds. “We just wanted a way to thank Lincolnites for making this a wonderful community to live in,” said city planner Mervin Descartes. “We thought to ourselves, ‘hey, 11 […] Read more
In an effort to reduce overcrowding in Lincoln’s growing metropolitan area, city officials recently announced that local government employees would begin consuming all illegally-parked vehicles on December 1 as per a new ordinance. “There are far too many cars downtown, even the legally-parked ones bother me,” said city council spokesperson Lisa Stout. “We think it’s […] Read more
