I tell you what, it’s starting to get a little hot in here. A little too hot. I think it’s time a muscular douchebag come along, rip off my sleeves and alleviate me of this heat. Oh yeah, that’s what I’d like. I’m tired of being just a shirt commemorating to ‘08-’09 lacrosse season. It’s […] Read more
Every Gmail account comes with 15 gigabytes of storage. Davis Carver doesn’t think that’s enough. Carver, an assistant manager at Home Depot, said he considers himself a “man of caution.” “I get a lot of emails sometimes,” Carver said. “Last Friday I got around 20. Most were in my spam folder, but three of them […] Read more
As Debra Barber finishes a bit of spring cleaning, she audibly reminds herself how blessed she is. Her son, Dale Barber, is finishing his English degree at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln this spring. He is unsure what he’ll be doing after graduation, other than “finally having time to write what needs to be written.” “The […] Read more
Dale Goonwitch doesn’t mind working as much as he used to. In fact, he minds very little at all as of late. “My soul has been off for the past four months,” Goonwitch said. “I feel better. I mean, not better, but at least not worse.” Goonwitch is an assistant manager at Bags of Stuff, […] Read more
When Lincoln resident Mike Dunhill clicked on the link to a video titled “Gangnam Catwoman Style,” he had no idea the direction his life was about to take. After watching the fan-made parody video, Dunhill had concerns. He decided to post a comment reading, “Catwoman dosnt [sic] look that hot.” Within minutes, the comment received […] Read more
Facebook is constant in its pursuit to appeal to everyone. Now, this extends to the broken-hearted. After months of tweaking in beta form, Facebook revealed its new “Days Since She Loved You” feature, a small box that keeps time, to the second, since the last time she truly felt she loved you. Facebook engineer Kathryn […] Read more
Splattered with the life matter of thousands of virgins, UNL student Kevin Ballock is having trouble focusing in his contemporary math course. “It’s in my eyes,” Ballock, a senior sociology major, said. “My eyes are burning kind of badly.” Ballock is among thousands of students questioning UNL’s decision to remain open this past Monday despite […] Read more
Hey guys, Theodore here. Unfortunately, I’ve got a real axe to grind! Have you ever told a funny joke at a party? It’s a great feeling! Have you later happened to hear someone else tell the same joke? And they got more laughs than you? And it made that redhead laugh so hard she had […] Read more
UNL staff are reporting receiving an email inviting them to bring their “sickest licks” to the UNL Chancellor’s office for “a chance of a lifetime.” “It’s gonna be really extreme,” read the email, which had as an attachment an image of a skull Chancellor Perlman had drawn, with the words “Mother of Perl” written on […] Read more
South of the Nebraska City Union, the bushes start to wiggle. A face pops out and looks around cautiously. In one fluid move, David Turnot emerges and starts walking. He’s late for biology class. Turnot, a junior film studies major, is currently being raised by Husker cats, the wild cats that live on campus. “They […] Read more
