People growing weary of the seemingly ceaseless construction on the University of Nebraska-Lincoln campus got some good news Monday, as UNL announced that all on-campus construction projects are set to be finished by the time the next construction projects begin.

“We know our students and faculty are tired of their beautiful campus being overrun by cranes and bulldozers,” UNL construction manager Tim Archibald said in a statement. “But we can guarantee that all these projects will be done just as soon as we decide to tear up the campus all over again.”

While the renovations of Love Library and Andrews Hall were recently completed, the construction of a massive new College of Business Administration building in the center of campus brought a new wave of headaches and frustration. Monday’s announcement gave the UNL community some much-needed relief.

“Finally!” sophomore meteorology major Alexis Rowley exclaimed. “I had to walk around that construction for months, so it’s great to hear it’ll be all finished by the time they decide to remodel Selleck or replace the Union fountain or something.”

Although most people reacted positively to the news, a few were skeptical that the university would actually be able to adhere to the ambitious deadline.

“I don’t buy it for a second,” computer science professor Stuart Logsdon grumbled. “Do they really expect us to believe that, when the time rolls around for them to add five more rows of seats onto Memorial Stadium, or build a new dining hall on the Union greenspace, or tear up all the sidewalks to make them one foot wider… that all this construction will be finished?”

Whether or not UNL meets its goal remains to be seen. Leaked emails obtained by The DailyER from UNL’s construction department revealed that the university has been drafting preliminary plans to rearrange all campus buildings in alphabetical order.