Recently, the trend of college football teams’ schedules has been planning home-and-home matchups with schools outside of their conferences. The Huskers have been one to follow this trend, making series games with Oregon, Colorado and the Oklahoma Sooners starting in 2021. These games are good PR moves for the schools – they beef up their […] Read more
Dorm room décor is an essential part of the freshman college experience. Bedding in particular is a big ticket item for students looking to express themselves through their room aesthetic, and it may be the biggest decision of all. The DailyER talked to students at Harper Residence Hall about how their bed spreads help to calm their […] Read more
Most see texting and driving as a heinous offense akin to getting behind the wheel drunk or eating messy foods while driving. However, new research from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln has shone a fresh light to challenge this commonly accepted belief. In a study conducted by the UNL psychology department, findings suggested that most people can […] Read more
Since what feels like the beginning of time – or at least several years ago – the iClicker has been a mainstay for large class sizes. As a way to keep track of attendance and dictate quizzes, the handheld device has become a necessary yet mundane tool for the University of Nebraska-Lincoln student. With its […] Read more
Classic case of the “whoopsies” here, folks. As rural Nebraskan farmer and father of three, John Spencer, saw those mythologized bright lights from the comfort of his deathbed, he made a mistake he’ll never be able to take back. Venturing outside of his mortal vessel, Spencer ascended. Many see the expedition to the afterlife to […] Read more
The start of the school year and the fall weather usually sees good moods on campus at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, but this semester, the student body can’t seem to shake an overwhelming sense of dread. After a few questionable spring concert artist announcements, the students just aren’t feeling great about this year’s upcoming performance. “You would think […] Read more
When students at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln eat at the various dining halls located across campus, they probably think they’re supporting a vibrant food service economy. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Following a months-long investigation, The DailyER has obtained decades of financial records revealing that all five dining halls are fully owned and operated by UNL. This stunning discovery has shattered the common perception among students that each dining hall is its own distinct brand.
“This is really a shock to me,” said sophomore microbiology major Sarah Henson upon reading the report. “I always thought I had choices as a consumer, but I sure was wrong.”
“Last year, I was unsatisfied with the quality of Harper’s pasta, so I took my business to Selleck, thinking I could vote with my dollars,” said junior broadcasting major Wyatt Huffman. “Everything I know is a lie.”
Furthermore, records indicate that the monopolization of campus food options even extends to the various residence hall C-Stores, as well as “Grab-N-Go” choices such as Husker Heroes and Husker Hoagies.
“Now that you mention it, I always did have my suspicions about Husker Heroes and Husker Hoagies,” Henson admitted. “But I assumed the ‘Husker’ thing was just a coincidence.”
UNL refused to comment on the report, or on the allegations that the university has been using the monopoly to systematically increase dining prices for years.
“This is just another example of a failure of capitalism,” explained UNL economics professor Dr. Helen Merritt. “By forcing out competition, the university has not only artificially inflated prices, but also limited innovation in the campus dining sector. We all love Mini Pizza Mondays, but with a competing dining hall, we could have had Mini Taco Tuesdays too!”
“That’s why I’m calling on the United States Justice Department to intervene and break up this dining giant immediately,” she added.
In the wake of these revelations, students have found themselves questioning which of their other on-campus choices could be just an illusion.
“Does this mean that when I take classes with two different professors, my tuition money still goes to the same place?” wondered sophomore English major Timothy Rios. “This changes everything.”
With so many questions now swirling about collusion on campus, The DailyER would like to assure its readers that it remains committed to journalistic independence by being entirely unprofitable.
At press time, The DailyER has been looking into a bombshell allegation that claims the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and University of Nebraska-Omaha could be operating under the same umbrella.
Sometimes, our relationships with our parents can be rocky at best. And sometimes, it’s endearing when some of us try to salvage something despite the years of silence or lack of love. Still, for some, it’s hopeless. In oblivious wuss Drew Whitaker’s case, there’s one obvious reason for things being not so great. “I wonder […] Read more
After securing its $0.14 cent per student budget for the 2017-2018 school year, The DailyER, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s satire publication, is aiming for bigger goals. Starting in the fall school year, The DailyER will be going public to possible investors to buy and sell exclusive DailyER stock. Stock options are estimated to open around […] Read more
The period after a breakup is a confusing and depressing time. Whether it’s ending a friendship with a childhood friend or having a significant other leave after falling out of love, no one on either side feels good. Charlie Evans, whose girlfriend of 14 months broke up with him, searched through a box of mementos […] Read more
