It’s not that I think you’re a bad person. You’ve done nothing to give me that impression. But my dog doesn’t like you, so we can’t be friends. If you’re alive in 2016, you’ve undoubtedly seen a certain sentimental meme floating around Facebook along the lines of “I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, […] Read more
For over a century, fans of the Nebraska Cornhuskers have proudly displayed the Huskers’ “N” logo on their clothes, cars and household appliances. But a recent announcement from departing University of Nebraska-Lincoln Chancellor Harvey Perlman has changed everything. “As my time as chancellor comes to an end, I thought it was time to let Husker […] Read more
Four weeks into the semester and sophomore student Richard Holden is at a complete loss for words. “I don’t know man,” Holden somberly exhaled while gathering his thoughts. “You see, I’m taking this meteorology course to fulfill an ACE 4 requirement, but nothing the professor does ever makes any sense.” Standing up from his chair, […] Read more
“The Revenant” is the hot new award season contender sweeping the country. This period piece stars Leonardo DiCaprio as frontiersman Hugh Glass, who goes on a warpath of revenge after being left for dead in a shallow grave. Tom Hardy, of “Batman” and “Mad Max” fame, plays John Fitzgerald, a scalping survivor who kills DiCaprio’s […] Read more
Have you heard any of these inside jokes? Have one we missed? Let us know in the comments! You can’t eat those! Dogs aren’t allowed to wear shoes Cough cough sneeze sneeze am I right? I have no friends Back that crocodile out the door Sneezy wheezy bo beezy That face Cheryll makes when she’s […] Read more
Any successful college student knows the importance of arriving to class on time. But in recent weeks, even the most studious of scholars have been filing in late to Professor Darryl Fisher’s Intro to Psychology lecture at the Mary Riepma Ross Media Arts Center. “No one shows up on time to Fisher’s class anymore, because […] Read more
Area weatherman and television personality Dan Summers was fired from the KLNK newscast this past week after a team of industry insiders discovered a pattern of deliberate misinformation in Summers’ reporting. Since at least 2011, Summers reported lower-than-true temperatures every Tuesday morning in the months of January and February in order to lower the price […] Read more
Rick Hartley doesn’t have much time for political correctness, or as he calls it, “being a liberal pussy”. According to sources, the area libertarian has a lengthy history of loudly listing off political issues to anyone within earshot, utilizing just enough lengthy words as to appear not entirely batshit. According to witnesses, this past Friday […] Read more
The Nebraska athletic department unveiled a plan Tuesday to move the university’s football team to a brand-new stadium in Los Angeles for the upcoming 2016 season. “We’ve been following recent team moves in the NFL and the athletic department realized if we’re going to provide a professional-quality experience for our student-athletes, we just can’t stay […] Read more
After diving deep into his Renaissance to Modern Art class, sophomore James McDugger did the unimaginable. While amped up on inspiration, Mountain Dew Code Red and a heart full of edginess, he opened up his American history textbook. What happened next could only be described as a stroke of sheer genius as he drew a […] Read more
