Tuesday was a triumphant day for local Cheetos fans, as the University of Nebraska-Lincoln announced a historic deal to become the nation’s first “Cheetos campus.” As part of a 10-year, $12 million contract with Frito-Lay, Cheetos will become the exclusive food provider of UNL, Chancellor Harvey Perlman announced. The campus’ dining halls, vending machines and […] Read more
Going far beyond the standard pro-business Republican talking points of running a government like a business, Governor Pete Ricketts announced Tuesday that he plans to turn Nebraska’s government into a literal business. “It’s a bold move, but I am confident our state’s government will be better able to create wealth for our board members and […] Read more
Take a moment to imagine every single bug that has ever died in the existence of bugs, including those hellish dinosaur bugs from ancient times. Now imagine all of them in one ethereal plane and tell me that it’s not hell. I’ve been in the entomology game for nearly 30 years, which is long enough […] Read more
After a disappointing start to the season, University of Nebraska-Lincoln football coach Mike Riley made a stunning announcement Monday about the cause of the team’s recent struggles. “The truth is, we just can’t stop reading all those hilarious articles in The DailyER,” Riley said, referring to UNL’s satirical newspaper. “How can we be expected to […] Read more
Groaning loudly and angrily closing her laptop in disgust, local phlebotomist Audrey Ellis, 26, experienced a rush of rising anger yesterday afternoon after reading one of her douchebag brother-in-law’s latest political rants on Facebook. “I know he writes these ridiculous things just to get attention,” Ellis told reporters. “But the sad thing is, I think he […] Read more
Local barista Danny Shannon was just living his life on Wednesday, enjoying a listen of Jack White’s “Blunderbuss” on vinyl and surveying the flies swarming around the coffee shop trash can, when his entire day was fucked up when a customer came in to order. “Who even orders a latte,” Shannon asked. “This is a […] Read more
The National Football League has a seemingly unsolvable problem: the nation’s most popular sport is destroying players’ brains. Rule changes and high-tech helmets aren’t helping, leading the NFL to take a drastic new step to address concussions. After success in overruling touchdown catches and officials’ bad calls, the NFL hopes its instant-replay system can also […] Read more
After struggling out of the gate to a 3-6 record and a recent loss to Purdue, Coach Mike Riley is refuses to let the bad times get the best of him nor his players. The University of Nebraska-Lincoln athletic department announced that today that Riley is giving his players participation trophies in a move intended […] Read more
University of Nebraska-Lincoln students can celebrate Halloween in a new way this year, as the technology department announced Monday it will be providing every student with a free spooky clipart CD-ROM. “We’re so excited to be giving students over 1500 spooky ghosts, skeletons, witches and pumpkins for their documents and PowerPoint presentations,” said UNL technology […] Read more
A house with broken windows, creaky doors and squatters that angrily wield power tools would generally be considered haunted by most. This past week, tenants and neighbors were surprised when it was discovered that this was not the case. A Near South home mistaken for a haunted house was revealed this past week to be […] Read more
