Last week, the Launch and Empower Parties clashed in the Union at the Dailyer-sponsored ASUN Mass Debate. But one question hung heavy in the air: What happened to last year’s ASUN winners, the Hashtag Party? While we weren’t able to contact any of them directly, here’s what the DailyER’s reporters have been able to find […] Read more
After several years of flip-flopping on the issue of whether or not to tear down the aging Cather-Pound residence halls the University has announced an innovative solution to satisfy both sides of the argument. “We just blow up floors 1-6 and leave 7-12 for incoming students!” announced an overly excited Chancellor Perlman at a press […] Read more
Ants have never been lovable animals, and after some bothersome events, they still aren’t cute. It was a special, bright Wednesday at the open space outside the Student Union where a picnic lunch was lovingly placed on checkered blanket on the grass. Accompanied by a human couple, this lunch was certainly going to be romantic. […] Read more
There’s been a lot of information swirling around lately about exercise and how everyone should exercise. I’m going to cut through the noise and tell you all you need to know about exercise. Don’t. It was only a few short weeks ago when I found myself making the mistake of exercising. Before I could say […] Read more
When Adam Reynolds discovered the Holy Grail, he didn’t know what he was going to do. It was after one of Reynold’s wicked parties when he found a strange looking cup underneath a pile of forgotten coats and purses. “When I found it, I just thought that it was some shitty little cup,” said the […] Read more
In a Jan. 26 announcement at a donors’ retreat in Palm Springs, California, the Koch brothers announce their plan to spend nearly all of the future generation’s well-being to support conservative candidates in the 2016 elections. The plan comes as no surprise to political commentators and is in line with the gradual uptick in campaign […] Read more
The tour guide leading a group of Red Letter Day prospective students almost stopped to show them Andrews Hall, but realized his mistake and moved on. “Over here we have Morrill Hall, home to the Museum of Natural History,” said Bill Jackson, who’s been leading student tours since fall 2013, “and right there is Andrews […] Read more
It has been a long couple of weeks for sophomore Stephen Daniels. Since the release of “American Sniper”, the patriotic general studies major has been constantly fighting back criticism of his hero, Chris Kyle. The storm of criticism surrounding the Clint Eastwood production has been “disheartening”, Daniels admits. “It’s really hard to understand how someone […] Read more
1) How vulnerable you are No matter where, no matter when, I am waiting, I am ready. 2) How begging for mercy will not help you The contract has been signed, and I must show you the way to hell. 3) How it will only take seven pounds of force to completely snap […] Read more
Following an entire decade of silence, area man Adam McKenna did the unthinkable: he made good on his promise to text his friend from freshman year in the dorms, a feat not even he believed would happen. “Hey man! We still gotta chill sometime like we were talking about!” McKenna said in a text to […] Read more
