The fields of corn blow in the wind, their thirst quenched by my Husker tears. I put on the red hat, and they cheer, even when the hat hides the grimace. I put on my wide grin, and the screaming nauseates me more than the ocean of red. They do not know that I prance […] Read more
As the temperature starts to drop, many students are trying to stay warm as best as they can. Many resort to a traditional coat or sweatshirt, but freshmen Cody Parker is taking extreme remedies in order to stay warm by hibernating inside of an original Runza sandwich. “In San Diego, all you need is a […] Read more
Little Annie Remington, 81, did not expect that her family would be able to celebrate a truly festive and bright Christmas this year as she brought out her infamous holiday fruitcake, which had actually achieved atomic half-life. “Oh, dearie, was I surprised when I unwrapped that fruitcake,” Remington said, who never knew that a balding […] Read more
A calmness spills through the Charter household. It seeps through the mistletoe, flows downs the stairs and finds its way into the branches of meticulously decorated Christmas tree. The family sits on their overstuffed couch. Christmas Eve. The smell of cinnamon rolls, almost done, waffs around, teasing the family of four. Bliss. Grandma is dead. […] Read more
Local student Tina Branson reported this week that though she hasn’t seen her roommate in three weeks, she knows that she’s alive. How? Through the intense barrage of increasingly angry snapchats Tina has received for the past month. “At first, I thought it was just a joke,” Branson said, citing a snap from November that […] Read more
As a result of paying off massive debt from student loans as well as an abundant amount of borrowed cash from every close family member and friend, area man Connor McClung confirmed to sources early Wednesday morning that he is just barely able to scrape together enough spare change to renew his gold-level membership to […] Read more
The Christmas season is in full swing in the Sandon household. After a large Thanksgiving dinner, the family of University of Nebraska-Lincoln sophomore biology major Jon Sandon settled in to take in their favorite holiday film. “Every year, the whole family watches ‘A Christmas Story’ after we eat,” Sandon said. “And every year, my dad […] Read more
Following a recent outbreak of patchy facial hair, Lincoln residents are once again feeling safe to leave their houses. “I spent the entire month of November inside my house with all my doors deadbolted,” said Mildred Kemp, a local senior citizen. “It was just too scary to go out there with all those horrible beards.” […] Read more
13-year old Shane Kassian is just like any other 8th grader. He goes to school, plays basketball, does his homework and plays video games with his friends. However, there is more than meets the eye. In addition to a developing personality, Kassian has also discovered developing urges. These urges are manifested in his Christmas list. […] Read more
Following yet another nine-win season as Nebraska’s head coach, Bo Pelini has been relieved of his duties. While the current leadership of the team sits in limbo, we at the Dailyer wanted to take a glance back at Pelini’s tenure with the Huskers. 1. The loss in the 2009 Big 12 Championship against Texas. […] Read more
