Darrel Jamison has long harbored a secret. Even his family and closest friends don’t know. “I’m a straight man,” Jamison said, “but I’ve always had a burning desire to be gay.” Soon, men and women like Jamison will no longer have to carry this burden. Nebraska Pride, an organization dedicated to LGBTQ causes, announced yesterday […] Read more
“For too long have we, the students, subjected ourselves to the wrath of Dr. Stevenson, who is a liar and cheat! He says we can submit as many drafts as we like, yet he never reads more than six!” Photo illustration by Jacob Fricke. With these words, Katherine Wick, a sophomore advertising major, did what […] Read more
It is 7 in the morning and I’m still drunk. The remnants of last night live in much more than my blood-alcohol level — they dwell within my heart and mind. Last night was one of the most volatile nights that I’ve experienced within this care-free summer. However, I have responsibilities—with this paper, as well […] Read more
Responding to calls of widespread corruption in recent national elections, the Sudanese Election Commission has revealed a daring new slogan in an attempt to improve their international credibility: “We’re Better Than Genocide.” The campaign was unveiled at a formal dinner for President Omar al-Bashir’s political supporters. The Minister of Information and Communications Kamal Mohame Obeid, […] Read more
New Music Updates. New Gossip Updates. 365 Days a Year. Even Columbus Day.’ This is the top image message that greets you when you first navigate over to strikegently.com. Talking heads flap across the screen, a still of Barack Obama stares knowingly down at you and a man pulls at a woman’s clothing with his […] Read more
Mere seconds after Ndamukong Suh was drafted second in the 2010 National Football League Draft by the Detroit Lions, William Copeland noticed something strange. As Selleck dining hall exploded in cheers, Copeland was removing his dinner from the waffle maker when he saw a face on it. Above: A hero. A legend. A Waffle? Photo […] Read more
Building on the popularity of its children’s drink Juicy Juice, Nestlé announced plans earlier this week to unveil a new line of adult beverages called Bad Choicy Choice. Photo illustration by Bea Huff. The drinks, whose flavors include ‘Unprotected Sex,’ ‘Drunk Tattoo,’ and ‘Tackling An Off-Duty Police Officer In The Bar Parking Lot,’ will feature […] Read more
The United Nations denied several appeals made earlier this week to take an active stance on shark conservation. Similarly, demands to take a definitive stance on the several genocides taking place in central Africa were also ignored. A measure proposed by a UN conference on endangered species would have suggested nonbinding controls on the hunting […] Read more
Capitol Hill was in a furor earlier this week when news leaked that Scott Brown, the newly elected junior senator from Massachusetts, came out as bipartisan to his parents. “We never expected it,” said Brown’s conservative-minded mother, Judith. “There he was, campaigning on a platform of petty partisanship like a good congressional hopeful, and now […] Read more
Erwinia amylovora, a bacterial pest currently blighting your neighbor’s apple tree, experienced a painfully awkward morning-after with a perfect copy of itself. Though typically a smooth-swimming individual, Erwinia found itself thrown off-kilter by the unexplained presence of another identical self. “Well, I came to this morning and there was this new copy sitting right there,” […] Read more
