Everyone agrees that the best part of Thanksgiving is the hours of small talk with relatives, but with so much to talk about, it can be hard to choose a topic. Here are a few suggestions for every person and situation you’ll encounter.
It’s that time of year again, when you have to muster up the confidence to sit down with your bickering relatives, all just for a big tasty meal. So while you’re there, you might as well load yourself up with food as best you can. We put together a list of our favorite Thanksgiving meal […] Read more
Saying that there was no reason you shouldn’t let him, area man Jon Wales begged you to let him try on your glasses, sources reported Tuesday. “Come on, it’ll be so fast,” said Wales. “Why wouldn’t you?” According to sources, Wales then reached for your glasses, forcing you to hand them over to him. “Wow, […] Read more
In an effort to reduce overcrowding in Lincoln’s growing metropolitan area, city officials recently announced that local government employees would begin consuming all illegally-parked vehicles on December 1 as per a new ordinance. “There are far too many cars downtown, even the legally-parked ones bother me,” said city council spokesperson Lisa Stout. “We think it’s […] Read more
For the Literary Club to increase attendance, Club boosters planned on offering “free pizza” to anyone who would show up to Tuesday’s meeting. The ploy was sure to get at least a few more students to come and possibly stay for a talk about “Far From the Maddening Crowd,” the current book of the month. Curiosities […] Read more
Calling it the most glaring failure of his tenure, Will Zunneman, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s communications director, told reporters that he fears for the security of his job after his recent mistake of trying to attract Mark Wahlberg to the university by saying the Devaney Center was a Transformer, only to find out that Wahlberg […] Read more
When Hamilton Jackson turned 21 Wednesday night, he took to social media and let the world know. A post on his Snapchat story featured a standalone picture of a mojito with the caption, “Enjoying my first legal drink.” The caption also featured a sly winking emoji for good measure. “I just want to make sure people […] Read more
73-year-old Ira Baker sent fear down the spines of her fellow patrons at a local cafe on Tuesday when she exhibited one of the telltale signs of psychopathic behavior: reading the entire menu out loud to herself. “It was shocking; horrifying really,” said eyewitness Jeanette Rosenberg. “I had only seen psychopaths in movies, I wasn’t […] Read more
Physically-active philanthropist and Lincoln local Kyle Winthrop performed a feat of incredible strength, endurance and humanity on Saturday as he walked an astounding 12 feet which, unbeknownst to him, raised money for dozens of local charities. “Uh, what? What did I do?” the confused-looking hero said as he was congratulated for his humanitarian service and […] Read more
Sophomore Mark Dennis has always wanted to make movies. Ever since Dennis was a little kid, he religiously watched movies from his favorite directors Steven Spielberg, Stanley Kubrick and David Fincher over and over again in hopes of understanding their techniques and hopefully bringing their styles into his own work. When Dennis was accepted to […] Read more
