13-year old Shane Kassian is just like any other 8th grader. He goes to school, plays basketball, does his homework and plays video games with his friends. However, there is more than meets the eye. In addition to a developing personality, Kassian has also discovered developing urges. These urges are manifested in his Christmas list. […] Read more
University of Nebraska-Lincoln officials are circulating information about missing undergraduate student Paige White, who was last seen registering for classes on November 7. She had previously expressed frustration with the system’s many convoluted menus when picking out classes. “We were told by the administration to make the system especially confusing, because they didn’t want students […] Read more
Folks, it’s that time of the year again. After a year of incessant breeding, it is once again time to cull the ever growing population of campus cats. Each year, hunters young and old take to the walking paths and green spaces around the University of Nebraska-Lincoln campus, vigilantly searching for those adorable, yet potentially […] Read more
Easy Classes to Pass this Spring Semester Greek Mythology—Looking at Greek life of sororities and fraternities on campus and the myths about those awesome ragers you never seem to be invited to. CALC—Stands for “Cars in America Looking Cool.” Discussions about how awesome that new hot rod that just came out looks, then taking it […] Read more
T-2 hours until local party house “The Smash Palace” kicks off its annual Halloween party but house host, Greg Jeffries worries that there is still too much ground to cover before Dan Fuller shows up. Many hoped Dan, famed among past “Smash Palace” parties for his repulsively topical costumes, wouldn’t show his face again after […] Read more
Kids are beautiful. Look at this kid. Look at that smile, big as the sky. Those twinkling eyes, two pools of innocence, blue as the Caribbean. Look out, he’s already stolen your heart. And his costume! He’s a perfect little firefighter, yes he is. How could any fire resist him? We sure can’t. He’s in […] Read more
Ask Fred Cartenzia how he’d describe his body’s build, and he’ll tell you he’s “rotund.” Which is apt. Cartenzia will be the first to admit his weight has been increasing steadily for years. At last weigh-in, he’s sitting at 347 pounds. This, he said, can be stressful come Halloween time. “I don’t love how fat […] Read more
In a press release last week Subway Pizza Express announced it has applied for a liquor license from the city of Lincoln that it expects to be approved soon. Subway Pizza Express is facing a massive decline in sales after students realized they could microwave frozen personal pizzas in their dorm rooms. However, the prospect […] Read more
It was hot, it was Monday and the pavement sweated in a blanket of 87 percent humidity. Stubbing his toe on a homeless man was the last thing Lincoln City council member Tom Hallux needed. After working all morning and stopping just briefly for a late lunch, Hallux said he was in a hurry to […] Read more
The beloved Husker football mascot since 1974, Herbie Husker has finally been granted tenure, a University of Nebraska-Lincoln press release said Wednesday. Following the publication of his highly acclaimed study, “Husker Fandom: Yes, We Really Are the Best,” professor Husker has been accepted as a tenured member of UNL College of Team Spirit and Hype. […] Read more
