Just like the mythical rulers in his favorite series of books, local student/George R.R. Martin reader Steve Halburt rules his “Game of Thrones” watch parties with an iron fist. The only member of the Sunday night get together to have read the source material, Halburt has taken a vow to guide his friends, but strike […] Read more
Claiming he is just a servant of the people, Jon Bruning promised to finish out his campaign for Governor of Nebraska without wearing another shirt if that’s the kind of thing Nebraskans wanted. “As always I’m just a public servant, and if my public wants me to serve them through my aging hairy pecs that […] Read more
Like something straight out of a fucking comic book, local man Michael Dursbury’s body has been seriously altered following a laboratory accident with a mutant insect. Late last Friday night Dursbury, an undergraduate at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, was reportedly finishing up a procedure when a radioactive brown-recluse bit his index finger. Remarkably, instead of […] Read more
Usually full of lame puns and groaners that would probably only make your grandpa chuckle, geography professor Lyndon Breloque is rolling out the black humor today, sources in Thursday morning lecture claimed. “See, the interesting thing about petrified wood is that it looks just like wood, but it’s actually just dead and calcified,” Breloque said, […] Read more
Open enrollment for Obamacare came to a close on March 31st, and the White House was thrilled to see that they met their initial goal of seven million enrollees in private healthcare plans. In light of this news, The Dailyer surveyed the student body at UNL to figure out why college students are signing up […] Read more
Ben Sasse’s recent surge in the polls with less than two months until the Senatorial Republican primaries would frighten most politicians, but luckily Shane Osborn is not most politicians. After losing his 20-point lead over the past several months and watching SuperPac FreedomWorks revoke their endorsement, Osborn plans to revitalize his campaign by reminding his […] Read more
A recent decision to stop insuring professors was initially met with much controversy, but the conversation has changed with the knowledge that the funds will be funneled back into the Union remodel. Citing the overwhelmingly positive response to the Union 2.0’s chairs, Harvey has announced his incredibly ambitious “10 year chair plan.” “Okay guys, we […] Read more
For many students attracted to the tantalizingly scholarly programs, the UNL Honors Program can provide ample opportunities and succulent resume-building. But for one particularly ambitious incoming student, the Honors Program provides a different sort of ample and succulent opportunity. For incoming freshman economics major Herman Kahl, the carrot on the stick that drove him to […] Read more
The campus rec is becoming more crowded than usual as people strive to prepare themselves for the best Spring Break ever. Some, however, do not think they need to work in the gym to improve their physique. “I just need to keep chewing, you know,” junior Adam Jonstonn said as he squeezed another stick of […] Read more
In an unexpected turnaround, local dude Eric “Boomer” Peterson claimed victory in the Wastedtown mayor race, narrowly defeating opposing candidate Garrett E. Jenkins. Sources say Mayor Boomer made his victory official by giving each and every one of his party constituents an extreme bearhug. “Oh hell yeah! Hell yeah! I’m the goddamn boss of this […] Read more
