Cities all over America have been covered in snow in one of the harshest winters in recent memory. The season’s fresh snowflakes are prompting Minnesota resident Peter Matthews to come forward with his incredible snow-related story. “When I was 10 years old, I accidentally ate some yellow snow. It was unlike anything I’ve ever tasted. […] Read more
A group dedicated to helping you kick your gambling addiction called your bluff and wagered $20 that you’re likely not stopping anytime soon, sources say. The for-profit telecom group Bet Ending Therapy Services (BETS) stated that while you’ve shown an interest in fiscal responsibility, there are 2 to 1 odds that you’ll be back in […] Read more
Experts in sociology recently discovered that the popular racing game Mario Kart is responsible for all institutionalized forms of oppression. The game’s design consists of vying for first place via motorized vehicles while simultaneously leaving obstacles like turtle shells and banana peels behind. These hinder the progress of other racers, which experts say is a […] Read more
In the nearly 10 months of his presidency, Donald Trump has done some scary things on many non-Halloween days. However, his newest controversy might be the scariest and strangest of all. At 9:34 this morning, Trump made an announcement saying that effective immediately, the national anthem of the United States will no longer be “The Star-Spangled […] Read more
The Trump administration recently rolled back Obama-era federal regulations that required employers to cover birth control in their health insurance plans, sources reported. The move, which President Trump called a win for religious freedom, met significant resistance from the highly influential Russian nesting doll lobby. Working for a Better Future from the Inside and Inside […] Read more
Beginning her usual morning press conference for an unusual White House administration, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders began her speech rather unusually. In what only could be seen as a cry for help, Sanders spent the first ten minutes of her press conference by pleading with her two dads, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders and former […] Read more
In an effort to drum up even more enthusiasm for future Disney projects, Disney CEO Bob Iger hinted at a possible mash-up that should get all fans excited. While already holding the distributing rights to Marvel and Lucasfilm properties, Iger hinted that in the next 10-20 years – when every possible comic book and live-action […] Read more
Jimmy John’s staple of “freaky fast delivery” is about to get “freaky free.” Jimmy John’s founder Jimmy John Liautaud announced in a statement last Tuesday that the sandwich-making company will start implementing a system providing customers with the option for free two-day delivery for all online and telephone orders. The announcement comes in an evolving […] Read more
First Generation (1996): Your parents met in the fifth grade and have been in love since. They had you when they were 24 and are still in love. They’ll still be together when they’re 90 and in a nursing home. They have the ideal marriage all of their friends envy. Second Generation (1999): Your mom […] Read more
On Sunday, Vice President Mike Pence attended the matchup between the San Francisco 49ers and the Indianapolis Colts to help celebrate the career of Colts legend Peyton Manning, who was being honored by the team in a ceremony to retire his number. Pence chose to not stay the entire game, though, leaving after a number of […] Read more
