Following new anti-gay legislation in Uganda, local man Daudi Otala was arrested Sunday afternoon under suspicion of super gay behavior and was later charged with seven counts of aggravated fabulousness. Additionally, Otala was charged with two counts of misdemeanor queerness and one count of failure to like boobs. Otala was taken into custody after complimenting […] Read more
When Hilina Ejigu, 19, and her family vacationed to Uganda this past summer, the teen saw it as an opportunity to indulge in the spoils of the land. During her trip, Ejigu was fortunate enough to dine on an organic Nile River Mud Pie. As not to stray from the narcissistic stereotype of her generation, […] Read more
With the recent success of the Doritos Locos Taco, Taco Bell has announced yet another variant of the popular dish. The new taco, expected to be named Doritos Locos Tacos flavored Doritos Locos Taco, is scheduled to be released in late 2013. CEO Greg Creed remarked “Simply stated it’s a taco within a Doritos shell […] Read more
In the midst of cyber-espionage attacks from China, the US government keeps stumbling upon fantastic prizes across the internet. Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel issued a public statement last week that the United States budget for next year will be looking better than ever with expected returns on twenty different million dollar prizes through various […] Read more
The restaurant was packed on what seemed to be a normal night at Lou’s Diner. Families celebrated birthdays and anniversaries. Laughter and revelry could be heard throughout the establishment. Nobody had any idea of the tragedy that was about to occur. In what witnesses describe as “horrific” and “like 9/11 but probably way worse,” a […] Read more
Just in time for the holiday season, Guantanamo Bay has declared that its highly secured doors will open for this year’s wave of spring breakers. Crowds of all sorts are flooding the rooms of the Bay, some students, some vacationers, and some “high profiled targets” of the CIA. What they all have in common, though, […] Read more
In an unprecedented act of kindness and generosity, the North Korean government has given a massive, beautifully-crafted wooden horse to South Korea. “We are very excited to receive this wonderful gift,” said South Korean President Park Geun-hye. “Just look at it! It’s incredible. I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t want this.” The gigantic wooden horse […] Read more
A widely-publicised trip to North Korea by former Bulls star Dennis Rodman became far more than a friendly visit when Kim Jong Un, the current Supreme Leader, revealed to his citizens the fact that Kim, too, has long been a black basketball star. “We are excited to welcome our brother and fellow NBA superstar Dennis […] Read more
In the latest of what promises to be an ongoing story, UNL chancellor Harvey Perlman has recently taken to calling himself “Harvey Stardust” and is insistent that students and staff do the same. What began with the simple rebranding of his Twitter account, @Harvey_Perlman has now blossomed into a full-scale reinvention of his clothing, makeup […] Read more
Two weeks ago Pope Benedict XVI, frontman for religious organization The Catholic Church, announced his resignation, citing “creative differences” with the popular act. In the wake of this announcement the Pope has unveiled plans to put more focus on his self-titled solo project. Although a number of his lo-fi home-recorded sermons have been floating around […] Read more
