Reports surfaced earlier this week that the FBI had uncovered and blocked a plot to blow up the Federal Reserve building in New York City. Initial reports indicate that the alleged bomber, Bangladeshi student Quazi Mohammad Rezwanul Ahsan Nafis, wanted to “blow up all of America’s money” in order to advance the cause of radical […] Read more
As the election gets nearer and nearer, the presidential candidates have begun moving their respective campaign messages toward topics other than the economy, including foreign policy. It’s an area Mitt Romney believes he has the best solution for fixing. “It is my belief that all of the United States’ foreign policy decisions should be made […] Read more
Aleksandr Vodkavak, a Russian scientist at a Russian facility in Petropavlovsk, was the first human to permanently break the sound barrier. Last week the process of sending his body to Mach 1 was finalized in the small research town. “The specific process is classified. It involves accelerating each individual particle of a person through sub-atomic… […] Read more
Police chief Kevin Cern cleared his throat. His eyes searched the room for a moment, then he spoke into the microphone. “We’ve found Carmen Sandiego.” Thus was the end of the 29-year-long, global search for Sandiego marked. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a storybook ending. Her body was found in a creek bed behind an apartment complex […] Read more
Apple™’s litigating department is at it again, suing Granny Smith for stealing the now trademarked Apple™ iPad case color Granny Smith Green™ from the new line of The New iPad™ Smart Case™. Apple™ litigator Harold McElhinny told reporters, “We have come to understand that Granny Smith, after getting one cease and desist letter a little […] Read more
Adam Jones’ dinner party took an awkward and painful turn yesterday when none the guests could figure out how to steer the conversation away from African genocide. “Honestly I’m not even sure how it got there,” Jones said. “Somehow, all of a sudden, we were all talking about Darfur and other African genocides like they […] Read more
The US Women’s Soccer team still has not been heard from since the Olympics ended last week. The team was last seen receiving their gold medals on the stand while the national anthem was playing in the background. Tensions at the Olympic final were high as the U.S. struggled early, only eventually outscoring the Canadians […] Read more
Nine months pregnant, Jose Annibel of Omaha got in her car on August 26th and travelled over 1,000 miles to New Orleans, LA. There, she will be in the water birth capital of the United States, ready to give birth to her second child, Isaac. Exactly seven years ago Jose was pregnant with her daughter, […] Read more
In an exciting development, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration has confirmed that Mars rover Curiosity, an unmanned exploratory vehicle on the surface of the red planet, has become mobile for the first time. The rover’s mission, according to head NASA administrator Charles Frank “Charlie” Bolden, Jr., will now shift from taking still photos […] Read more
After it was announced that “Lord of the Rings” director Peter Jackson intended to divide “The Hobbit” into three parts, a sense of confusion and apprehension was felt amongst the nerd community. Upon hearing the news, Jackson’s avid followers were forced to ask a difficult question: why would the shortest book of the “Lord of […] Read more
