The University of Nebraska-Lincoln is a place like no other academically and socially. UNL students are some of the nation’s and, dare I say it, the world’s leading innovators and pioneers. You can’t walk ten feet on campus without seeing the world change before your very eyes as bold young students create their own paths.

In the spirit of this amazing, one of a kind, inventive culture at UNL, the College of Business has announced an exciting new addition to their curriculum: Raising Cansian Economics.

Raising Cansian Economics (#one$love) is going to be so amazing that it’ll be as good as the four-strip chicken basket. It’ll be so amazing that it will even rival the mouth-watering delicious Texas Toast. Entering the program will be as if you have submerged yourself into a 99-piece tailgate chicken strip package. Upon earning a degree in Raising Cansian Economics you will literally turn into pure grease.

Raising Cansian Economics is all about the demand, baby, the violent, almost cannibalistic urge of all Nebraskans to get their hands on some sweet sweet Canes. My mouth is literally open all the way to the floor just from writing this article. Supply? We good there too. The main thrust of the plan is to turn all Canes employees into godlike, tireless AI robots that can produce a Canes four chicken strip basket in five nanoseconds so they can keep funneling endless Canes right down all of our throats.

Eventually, we can conquer the whole nation and forge it into a glorious Raising Cansian Economics based economy. I swear to the Raising Cane’s dog (my God) as my witness that I will not stop until I see a Raising Canes on every goddamn block of America.

COB? Nah, let’s name that thing CANE, ’cause that’s all I’m gonna be having for breakfast, lunch and dinner all day, every day!