The staff at the DailyER has been lucky enough to receive an anonymous email containing the original draft of the email that Ronnie Green sent out this morning. We would like to share that with you all here to see what our chancellor wanted to say before the Board of Regents made him clean up the email. 

“To our students, faculty, and staff:  welcome to fall 2020 semester!

I want to say congrats to the 5500 freshmen who just signed up to the worst four years of their life in the middle of a pandemic. Good luck, because you will absolutely need it.

A big shout out to all of our staff who have been overworked and underpaid for setting up everything for these ungrateful students who do not even want to be here. An even bigger shoutout to my team, led by me and Ted, who made this plan and changed the entire thing every three days. We worked super hard!

To our students, we’re counting on you.

Don’t fuck it up. We get that y’all want to party and do things that we all know are illegal, but now we can’t do that. I get this social distancing stuff blows, but that’s the rules. We don’t get to puke on O street after a good night out anymore, it’s a sacrifice for the greater good.

We tried to use football as an incentive to get y’all to follow it, but since the Big 10 is run by idiots, we can’t use that as a bribe. So I guess just stay on campus and get ready to go all online next week or get sent home. I don’t know what will happen anymore.

Governor Ricketts has threatened my job if I don’t keep this campus open. Do not make me close down the campus. I cannot afford to lose this job. Plus getting fired by that bald jerk will be so demeaning. Anyways, wear a mask and social distance. 

To the faculty and staff. Sorry, not sorry.

Everyone also should go online and sign the Cornhusker Commitment. I know you do not read or follow it, but it looks nice to the Board of Regents when I have a big list of names to show off. I also get a bonus if enough people sign it, so fill it out.

As we go forward into a giant shit storm of uncharted waters, let’s be sure to give people a good amount of grace and goodwill. Mostly the administrators trying to make these tough choices.
Mostly my team.

Actually just me. I am stressed y’all. 

Anyways, let’s be sure to enjoy campus before I have to send you all home in September!

I don’t think we can do it, but enough people have signed the Cornhusker Commitment. Maybe it can work.”

– Ronnie