Dear Professor So-And-So,

I am a student in your English class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I sit in the back row and try my best not to fall asleep.

You have told us repeatedly that our 10-page final paper is due during finals week. Finals week starts Dec. 10.

I wanted to remind you that it is currently November and you want us to have had this paper started already.

I am sorry, but that is not going to happen.

Starting your final paper in November is like putting up my Christmas tree before Thanksgiving: Just plain wrong.

Please, I beg of you, let me enjoy my turkey before I have to cry into the stuffing.

When I think of starting your paper, I realize I just plain do not want to. And everyone knows that the best papers are written with enthusiasm about the subject. I am waiting for this spark of motivation and enlightenment to hit. I think it will come around Dec. 8.

In reality, I do not think I should have the stress of 10 pages looming over my head as I try to think of what I am thankful for.

I am not thankful for this paper. At least not yet. I am thankful for your class and the opportunity to learn about commas and pronouns every other day. I think I will also be thankful that this paper will be over one day.

But for now, I just have to get back to reading the novel we were supposed to have read in October in order to be able to analyze it for this final.

Sorry, bro.

Sincerely,

The Freshman in the Back