After many lonely years, Teacher’s Assistant Seth O’Neill has hatched a plan to finally score the ever-elusive Valentine’s day date.

“Due to my position as a TA in the College of Business Administration, I have had contact with quite a few students,” he remarked. “I figured it was high time I made that work to my advantage.”

O’Neill, a TA in BSAD 111, not only helps with a large lecture class, but teaches a recitation as well. He quickly realized the opportunity that his position offered. On the first day of class, students reported that O’Neill asked them all out for coffee.

“I know, I know, a blanket invitation doesn’t usually work,” he said. “But I figured I might as well cast my net out there and see what I get”. O’Neill remains hopeful, although many students describe him as “creepy” and “strange”.

Student Angie Belton described him as an “unhygienic, bad smelling creep who always makes weird jokes”.

Another student, who wishes to remain anonymous, described the situation as being similar to “getting creeped on by an old man, except the man is a college student and also your teacher”.

O’Neill believes that his biggest mistake was asking the students out for coffee. “I should have known better,” O’Neill states. “I might as well have asked them to paint a room or something”. He will be revamping his approach before his next class session, and plans to target individual students in the class. He said that he doesn’t believe that this will cause any problems, citing the maturity of his students.

“They are all mature enough to know that a little lovin’ never hurt a guy,” he adds. “I really don’t see how this could cause any problems”. At the time of press, the university is beginning an ethics investigation into the matter.