So UNL’s Chancellor of Twitter, Harvey Perlman, had to move the goalposts on his target date for UNL to reach 30,000 students last week. Instead of reaching this goal by 2017, Perlman pushed that date back to 2020. Perlman wants a “sustainable” way to get to 30,000 students, and because Perlman seems a bit confused on how to get there, the Dailyer has some suggestions on how to do so.

First, UNL could bus in inner city youths, this is a tried and true method of boosting attendance at public schools, and upping the diversity level at the same time. Win, win.

Second, Perlman could make UNL a wet campus. Enough pussy footing around the fact that UNL and Lincoln are both pillars of binge drinking nationwide. The fact that we are a dry campus does nothing except give more minors MIP’s. This applies to football and basketball games too, instead of forcing the drinking crowd to drink enough for an entire game before the game starts (which is, you know, dangerous), people will be able to keep their buzz going at the game, while simultaneously increasing revenue for the university to spend on more chairs, or something.

Lastly, re-brand the university as more than just a (mediocre) football school. The Huskers are great, and what they mean to the state as a whole is incredibly important, but UNL has much more to offer than that. For instance, former UNL student Evan Williams just became a billionaire last week when a tech startup he co-founded went public. That tech startup is known as Twitter, and it’s a mainstay of the online community. Williams level of success may be unique, but his drive is not. Lincoln has a surprisingly strong tech industry, and is an ideal environment to start a new business. The cost of living here is incredibly inexpensive, and UNL produces boatloads of motivated entrepreneur types every year.

All of this needs to be at the center of UNL’s re-brand, and Lincoln is lucky enough to have a top notch ad agency in Archrival. Archrival prides themselves as a youth marketing firm, and what better type of agency to help UNL recruit top level high school seniors than Archrival. Not only does the partnership make sense, but we already know that Perlman contracted out his initial social media campaign to Archrival. So the connections are there, and UNL would be wise to write whatever type of check is necessary to get the best and brightest in Lincoln in charge of bringing more students to our fine university.