Danny Ratman, your former shitty roommate, started to become a half-decent human being after you finally decided to stop living in the same dorm with him.

Coming into this semester finally free from the  weeks of non-existent conversation and passive aggressive glances, the first interaction with Danny was as cordial as it could be; A smile on his face and he even asked “Hey man how is your family doing?”

The Danny that you remember left his dirty clothes and trash left on the floor along with his week old dining hall food molding on the floor. Now that you went to all the trouble of moving out into a different living situation, all the monstrosities that would have qualified as grounds for a national crisis magically disappeared from Danny’s room.

“I really enjoy being Danny’s roommate,” B.J. Finnicher said after moving in with Danny. “He’s so kind and considerate of my stuff and holds up to the standards of being a nice guy, I honestly think he’s made me a better person.”

Oddly enough, even the 3 a.m. trips to take a shower that woke you up all the time and the nights of coming home wasted that made you regret going to college have also seemingly gone away according to Finnicher.

Now that you have a new roommate that you were hopeful would be a much better situation has begun to turn sideways. Maybe it’s you, you are a piece of shit and everyone hates you.