Talk about a wild semester! Incoming freshman mechanical engineering major Finn Parker is in for a real doozy this upcoming semester as he accidentally signed up for 97 credit hours.

“Oh God, what have I done,” exclaimed Finn Parker, after looking at his class schedule for the upcoming semester. Parker will have class from 6 am to 10 pm Monday through Friday, with no breaks in between classes for lunch or dinner.

Although Parker is still in technically in the period to drop classes for free, a rare glitch in the University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s system has permanently locked Parker into his current schedule of 97 credit hours.

“It won’t drop any of my classes,” said Parker, furiously clicking through MyRed. “What in the hell is going on? My mom is going to kill me.”

“There’s really nothing we can do for him,” said student adviser Carter Johnson. “We’ve tried going in on our end and taking him out of the classes, but it seems he’s stuck in these classes for the rest of the semester. I hope he has a good tutor.”

Although Parker will likely have the worst five months of his life sitting through 97 credit hours and dealing with a $35,000 bill this semester, he will be on track to be the fastest student to ever graduate from UNL, a record currently held by Herbie Husker, who managed to graduate from UNL in three semesters in 1978 with a Ph.D  in PGA Golf Management.