While on a temporary leave of absence, God, the omnipotent creator, and overseer of the universe, decided to take a stroll down to His kingdom to see how mankind was faring. He was displeased.

In His anguish, God decided to hold a worldwide conference to address the matter with which He took most issue.

“Who do you people think you are? The nerve you egotists must have to think I would have devoted even the slightest fragment of time to instill within you, my image,” God said in His knowing-it-all kind of way.

Taken aback by His Holiness’ complaint, the people of the world ignored it with detest. They began using the conference as a platform to ask how He was planning to deal with the ever growing problem of war among countries, crippling poverty and the systematic oppression of minority groups.

“There’s just absolutely no way you could possibly think so highly of yourselves,” He answered. “I’ve made works of art more gorgeous on My Etch-A-Sketch.”

God then began to etch a sketch of a rudimentary stick figure bashing its head against a wall.

“Now this is something yet more worthy of My image,” God scoffed at His own crude comedic remarks as the public watched lividly.

Still unsure as to the reception of His message, God prepared a 7.125 billion slide presentation to clear up any remaining ambiguities. He then went on to carefully narrate the imperfections of each human being, while continuously referring back to how He, in all His glory, had none.

Once becoming disgusted with the flawed nature of the human body, God simplified His narrations to the more receptive, “ugly; ugly; uggo; what the hell even is this; top tier gross lord.”