In a stunning turn of events at the Miss America pageant, the heavy underdog, Miss Nebraska, a half-eaten bag of Cheetos, won the crown over the other 51 contestants.
It had been an uphill battle for the half-eaten bag of Cheetos from the beginning, when it was accidentally dropped on stage during the Miss Lincoln, Nebraska pageant. During the competition, the judges unanimously agreed that in their professional opinions, there was no more beautiful or intellectual being in the entire city of Lincoln then the new contestant.
Since then it has been the story of the little half-eaten bag of Cheetos that could.
As an underdog in the Miss Nebraska competition, the half-eaten bag of Cheetos used its beautiful outer sheen and cheesy puff aroma (which only an opened bag of Cheetos can have) to steal the trophy away from front-runner Jessica Lange.
“At first I was really angry, but honestly it was just jealousy. I’ll never be as smart or sexy as that little bag of cheesy goodness,” Lange said.
If that half-eaten bag of Cheetos was an underdog in the Miss Nebraska contest, it was nothing compared to the challenge it faced at the Miss America pageant.
“I’m going to level with you: that half-eaten bag of Cheetos didn’t stand a chance,” host Chris Harrison said as the closing ceremonies started. “But it proved me wrong; and in the end, it proved all of us wrong.”
After holding its own in the swimsuit and talent portions of the contest, the half-eaten bag of Cheetos blew the competition away with its elegant choice of evening wear. Wearing nothing but the outside of its own packaging, none of the girls could top the sensual brilliance of the corporate branding.
“There was no way any of us were going to beat that half-eaten bag of Cheetos after the evening wear portion. We all knew it was a done deal. That bag was going to win it all,” Miss Colorado said.
“And, you know what? We were all okay with that, because in the end, that little half-eaten bag of Cheetos had something that none of the rest of us had; it had destiny on its side.”
