In America, wherever there is a demand to be met, often times a tactful and money-minded individual will take action to fill the economic void. Josh Peterson, an ambitious young business major here at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln noticed an extreme shortage of sleeves present on the T-shirts of many men and women participating in […] Read more
A new report released this week is saying that the economy is not doing well right now. The author of the report, blogger and video game enthusiast Joe Nich, said the report draws its conclusions from the Department of Labor, which has all of its statistics right on its website. “I was looking up Mariska […] Read more
In 2005 Susan Boyard, President of Operations for SeaWorld Parks & Entertainment, gathered members of the press together on an open stretch of land in eastern Pakistan. Photo illustration by Jacob Fricke. “We are pleased to announce the official establishment of our newest SeaWorld franchise, right here in sunny Karachi. We expect that residents of […] Read more
This week, the construction of the Middle East’s very first Evangelical Lutheran Church/daycare center was finally complete. Above: A welcome erection. Photo illustration by Dylan Bliss. “We’re still looking for someone to play the keyboard in the praise band, but things are really starting to shape up over here,” says Senior Pastor Hank Petersen. Upon […] Read more
Though the houses of Congress will not reconvene for another two weeks, Democratic leaders have already set one item on their respective agendas. And Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is determined to give the issue major face time. “We have made it very clear over the years that gifts are not to be accepted in […] Read more
Aug. 29, 2005 will forever be remembered as the day that Hurricane Katrina unleashed its wrath on the Gulf Coast. With more than 1,800 people killed and $81 billion in property damage, Katrina is the most catastrophic natural disaster in recent memory. And as the years have passed, Katrina’s moniker has been ascribed to other […] Read more
Darrel Jamison has long harbored a secret. Even his family and closest friends don’t know. “I’m a straight man,” Jamison said, “but I’ve always had a burning desire to be gay.” Soon, men and women like Jamison will no longer have to carry this burden. Nebraska Pride, an organization dedicated to LGBTQ causes, announced yesterday […] Read more
“For too long have we, the students, subjected ourselves to the wrath of Dr. Stevenson, who is a liar and cheat! He says we can submit as many drafts as we like, yet he never reads more than six!” Photo illustration by Jacob Fricke. With these words, Katherine Wick, a sophomore advertising major, did what […] Read more
Patriots, friends and Americans, we are at a crossroads in this country. America is changing, and not for the better. Since Obama has taken control, he has presided over a government takeover of not one but two major aspects of American life, health care and finance. And after what happened to Dr. Laura a couple […] Read more
Despite a string of critical injuries and issues with consistency among their white pitchers, Red Sox fans are sure that this season’s problems are the sole responsibility of the team’s African-American players. “I mean, it’s not that I’m racist or anything. I have black friends. But if Adrian Beltre would hit the fucking ball better […] Read more
