The Daily Nebraskan is asking the students of UNL to continue supporting the DN in its rewording of New York Times articles. “We have always been a newspaper that strives at taking the opinions of journalists working at The New York Times and rewording them to make them sound like our opinions, and we ask […] Read more
President Barack Obama announced yesterday that the Commission for Recession Research (CRR) finished its two year, $400 billion study on how the recession was affecting the American public. The single sentence report concludes that “the recession is hitting poor people the hardest and is kind of hurting people that are less poor but not as […] Read more
Building on the popularity of its children’s drink Juicy Juice, Nestlé announced plans earlier this week to unveil a new line of adult beverages called Bad Choicy Choice. Photo illustration by Bea Huff. The drinks, whose flavors include ‘Unprotected Sex,’ ‘Drunk Tattoo,’ and ‘Tackling An Off-Duty Police Officer In The Bar Parking Lot,’ will feature […] Read more
The United Nations denied several appeals made earlier this week to take an active stance on shark conservation. Similarly, demands to take a definitive stance on the several genocides taking place in central Africa were also ignored. A measure proposed by a UN conference on endangered species would have suggested nonbinding controls on the hunting […] Read more
Capitol Hill was in a furor earlier this week when news leaked that Scott Brown, the newly elected junior senator from Massachusetts, came out as bipartisan to his parents. “We never expected it,” said Brown’s conservative-minded mother, Judith. “There he was, campaigning on a platform of petty partisanship like a good congressional hopeful, and now […] Read more
The entertainment industry was shocked yesterday when one of America’s most polarizing celebrity marriages finally came to an end. “To be painfully honest with you, my wife is a whore,” said Lord GaGa in a statement to the Associated Press. “She drinks all the time, flirts with every guy or girl she meets and speaks […] Read more
Erwinia amylovora, a bacterial pest currently blighting your neighbor’s apple tree, experienced a painfully awkward morning-after with a perfect copy of itself. Though typically a smooth-swimming individual, Erwinia found itself thrown off-kilter by the unexplained presence of another identical self. “Well, I came to this morning and there was this new copy sitting right there,” […] Read more
Despite an expected multi-billion dollar loss, the United States government announced Monday its intent to recall nearly 10 million citizens who were foolish enough to purchase Toyota vehicles. Above: Just some of the 10 million consumers being recalled Photo illustration by Jordan Minnick. The announcement came after it was revealed in late January that there […] Read more
Nicolas Sarkozy, elected president of France in May 2007, is facing what may be the most difficult political hurdle in a long career. In light of the increased risk of extremist violence and wide association with the oppression of women, a parliamentary task force has issued a long-expected finding: ban the president in public places. […] Read more
In a controversial move following the much-publicized hacking of several Gmail accounts, Google has removed all censorship from its Chinese search engine. In a press conference, Google’s CEO Eric Schmidt stated, “We can no longer countenance the gross repression of information under the Chinese government. No one fucks with Google.” Support for Google’s move has […] Read more
