Aw geez. What a game. What a piece of trash game. This is just awful. Just real bad.

See, if I were head coach. I would’ve done something different. Not what they did. Not that play. Nuh-uh. No way. Not-WHAT THE HELL FOTZ MY DOG CAN KICK BETTER THAN THAT.

Sorry I’m a little loud. I just care about this team, you know? I care about them a lot. More than MOST people here. Heh.

What? No, I don’t smell like alcohol. I just spilled a bottle of hand sanitizer on me before I got here. It sure was a mess, you really should’ve seen it.

It’s all Riley’s fault. Langsdorf’s. Somebody’s.

Hey man, I won’t shut up. What’re you gonna do? Call those boy scouts on me? I’ll have you know, I was a boy scout. I know how they think. They won’t do jack. They’ve all earned their “free speech” merit badge. They know what’s up.

God, I miss Bo. That man had attitude. Spoke his mind and wasn’t afraid of nothing. Bo “The Man” Pelini is what I called him.

ARMSTRONG, WHAT’RE YOU DOING? God, that was a bad throw. It should’ve been over there. Not there. And he just lobbed it. It’s not even really a throw if you think about it.

Hey, it’s a football game, innit? Everyone’s yelling. So shut up.

THERE, YOU SEE IT? Dollar bills just sticking out the ref’s pocket. I knew it. Those Big Ten officials down in Washington are paying big bucks to see our Huskers lose. Son of a bitch, I knew it.

Hey, hey, what’re you doing? Get your hands off of me, I paid good money for this ticket! Go Big Red!