With the threat of runaway global temperatures an ever-looming reality, the warming Earth has the potential to influence your daily life in truly unprecedented ways. Here’s what it could do to some of your favorite interiors.

The Mall

A rise in global temperatures will raise sea levels to previously unseen heights. Expect a much more authentic surf-lifestyle experience while shopping in a Pac Sun filled with three feet of saltwater.

Your Rental House

If you thought the problem with water in the basement was bad, you’re in for a surprise. Hope you bought renter’s insurance. And don’t expect to get your deposit back, because the landlord is definitely going to say all this water damage came from the time you made the bathtub overflow.

Any Building in New Orleans

Current models predict that climate change will raise the intensity and frequency of hurricanes. Sorry.

Oldfather Hall

Only good news here. With seawater levels up to the fourth floor, you can use the elevator to get to all of your classes. Also, rising external temperatures will mean that some classrooms will get warmer than 40 degrees in the winter.

Your Vet’s Office

Global warming has the potential to cause mass extinctions of many currently-thriving species across the globe. Since this is a paper that only publishes tasteful content, let’s just say you should probably order Spot’s tombstone now.

Local Republican Party Headquarters

No effects. Global warming isn’t real, so nothing to worry about here. However, keep an eye out for the Koch brothers’ latest check.