Did you guys know that college expects you to choose a major? Crazy, right?

I thought the only reason I was here was to build my fraternity’s float. So I chose advertising because I thought there would be no work and an easy place to get laid. But you guys do not know how hard it is to be an advertising major. I mean seriously, it is really hard. They actually expect you to do work and create logos for companies. Seriously, Come on! Haven’t we created robots that can do that? We need a major for this? I thought being an advertising major would be like being on Mad Men. Granted I’ve never seen Mad Men, but who actually has? It’s a group of men who do whatever they want with no ramifications, but that has never been the case in my own experience. Just the other day one of the female “students” walked by me and I smacked her on the ass and said, “hey sugar, can you take my bro-tank and iron it out for me,” but instead of doing what I said, she slapped me on the face and now I have to deal with this sexual harassment lawsuit.

I thought I would be a lot drunker too in the advertising department. It seems like on Mad Men there is always some sort of hard liquor around, but I never see any in Andersen. How else am I supposed to come up with crappy designs if I’m not day drunk all the time? I can’t even afford any type of bourbon, and these four locos aren’t really doing it for me. My adviser tells me that I need to get my head out of the 60’s and shape up or I’ll be expelled, but with Don Draper as my hero; I’ll do whatever he does.

I am currently looking for a new major and school.