My fellow freedom-fighting Americans, we are in crisis mode.

If you haven’t heard, Sarah Palin didn’t show up to the Conservative Political Action Conference convention this last week. If you have even half a brain, you know just how unfortunate that is.

But don’t panic! This doesn’t mean she isn’t going to run for President in 2012. It just means we proud Americans need to show her that we need her. I’ve been watching the revolution in Egypt pretty closely, and I think it’s time we have a revolution of our own. If they can get their leader thrown out before his term ends, why can’t we get Obama thrown out and Palin elected?

It is time for Obama to leave office. I mean, have any of you filed your taxes yet? I did, and I have to say I’m pissed. I’m only getting about 70% of my taxes back. Where is that other 30% going? Probably to pay for some homeless guy to get his teeth cleaned. It’s not my fault he’s homeless. Maybe he should get some money from his parents. That’s what normal people do when they are in financial trouble.

Seriously, Sarah, where are you?! Did Jefferson desert the country when we needed him? No. Benjamin Franklin? Heck no! It is time for Palin to step up and become our first founding mother. This country needs a new beginning, a new founding, and I can tell you the men can not do it alone. Unlike any president from the past, Palin could seriously intimidate. Weilding a gun and mood swings meaner than a tasmanian devil, we could make some things really change. Sometimes you just need a mother’s touch, and America is in need of its mama grizzly’s touch right now.

As passionate as I am, my dear readers, I alone can not bring our fearless leader into power. She needs all of you. So I call on you, my faithful followers, to stand up for what you believe in. Let’s tear a page out of the Egyptian playbook and stand up to the tyranny of Obama, and tell our leaders that we want our mother!

Together we can make America great again. And I’m sure we’ll get paid for all the work days we’ll have to miss while protesting. At least, I hope we do — the puffy paint for those protest signs is expensive.