Junior English major Earl Robinson sees himself as fulfilling a specific role in his friend group.

“I’m the guy who mixes things up a little bit, you know,” Robinson said. “I’m not afraid to get a little weird and crazy! Things are never boring when I’m around. What can I say, I’m just a wild card!”

His friends, however, disagree with this self-assessment. Alex Vidal, a sophomore economics major, claims that Robinson is demonstrably the lamest friend in the group.

“I have no idea why he thinks he’s the wild card,” Vidal said. “He’s easily the least funny and the most predictable of the group. He mostly just complains about his job all the time, and he works less than 20 hours a week. Talking to him is pretty boring honestly.”

While Robinson claims to enliven all social events with this dynamic presence, those who know him well cite his complete lack of social awareness and tendency to insult others to draw attention to himself as major points of contention against his wild card status.

“I guess he’s a wild card in that you can pretty much always expect him to find a way to make any situation worse,” Vidal continued. “I honestly don’t know why we keep him around, except to make us feel better about our own flaws.”

Robinson is widely regarded in the friend group as the most likely to wear novelty graphic tees, make himself a burden on others with needy requests and drive away cute girls with offhand misogynistic remarks.

“The other night I ended up staying in when everyone was going out because of him,” said Lauren Wilson, a friend of the group. “I agreed to give him a ride and was waiting for him to get ready for hours until he told me he’d already left. I guess that was unexpected but I wouldn’t say that makes him a wild card or anything, just kind of a douche.”

“I would consider almost anybody else in the friend group for that title except for him,” Wilson added.

At press time, Robinson was forcing his way into a conversation with unprompted references to mid-2000s comedy movies.