Julian Assange, editor of the website Wikileaks, is in no way repentant about the content he posts every few months. He says the American public should have a little more truth in their lives. And while this would not normally be a cause for the Department of Defense to get involved, Assange is a special exception.
That’s because Wikileaks is infamous for posting classified government documents leaked from inside the Pentagon itself. The latest posting, which involves more than 400,000 documents, examines in excruciating detail something that most American politicians would rather not talk about – the ability of Vice President Biden to turn nearly any phrase, no matter now inane or sterile, into a minefield of garbled nonsense. Assange, in the latest slew of classified documents made public, said it is all an act. He wants the American people to be aware of just how articulate their Vice President can really be.
“Look at him when he was on the campaign trail. He goes to the Democratic National Convention to accept the nomination for Vice President and he goes, I swear to God – ‘I love you, mom.’ Articulate, deep, thoughtful, well-timed in context, I promise, and absolutely sickening. It’s the Biden that ordinary Americans never see or hear about, and it disgusts me. I just think they deserve to know that their VP is nowhere near as dumb as they’re led to believe.”
White House officials defended the Obama administration against charges that Biden’s powers of communication have been severely and purposefully misrepresented to the public. Jarrod Martin made the administration’s view of the subject very clear.
“While the White House tries to keep careful tabs on Biden so as to report his various lapses in basic English to Congress on a regular basis, we openly acknowledge that his slip-ups are not a complete picture, because we can only report what the media sees,” Martin said. “So we don’t profess to have knowledge of every time the vice president makes himself sound like he never made it past 6th grade. We can only report what we’re aware of. And he’s a slippery bugger. We still haven’t found where he hides out in the Oval Office. One time we lost him for eight hours before he got hungry and wandered out, and God only knows what sort of coherent sentences he could’ve been spouting during that time.”
Secretary of Defense Robert Gates has been one of the most vocal critics of the site, stating that some of the leaked material could threaten US interests at home and abroad.
“They keep telling all our best secrets before we can declassify them as a selfless act for the American people,” Secretary of Defense Robert Gates has been heard to gripe, “and it pisses me off. Damn Aussies. Their beer sucks, too.”
