Editor’s note: This article is a part of the Daily Nebraskan and DailyER joint satirical issue, the HalfasskanER.

Walking into Michael’s Diner, I was immediately struck by the smell of food. It was clear this was the kind of place you could get something to eat, although I only learned later on it was going to cost me several U.S. Dollars.

Michael’s Diner offers a varied menu of food such as hamburgers and hot dogs. A variety of toppings were also available, ranging from ketchup to mustard, or even salt.

Upon entering, I was ushered to a table and asked to sit. Uncertain of what to make of this request, I decided to do as I was told. The server left me, and I sat there alone.

The next few minutes were the longest of my entire life. All around me were people eating, laughing and talking, yet I had no food to speak of. Was I supposed to go get some, or what? I felt so ashamed and alone. This was definitely a low point in my dining experience.

Finally, someone came up to me with the apparent intention of giving me food, although at that moment I couldn’t be sure of her motives. She told me her name was Katie and she would be my server today. She was a woman wearing a black shirt who handed me a piece of paper with things I could order on it. The paper was laminated so that even if I spilled water on it, it would not be damaged, a security that I was very grateful for during the ordering process. With that worry placed out of my mind, I ordered a Philly cheesesteak and French fries.

After a few minutes my food was ready. The hunger rumbling in my belly made me so grateful for the waitress bringing me food. I smiled at her and thanked her for being my girlfriend, even if only for a few minutes.

The first bite of the Philly cheesesteak was a simultaneous journey to heaven and hell.

The sour taste of the meat, combined with the leathery texture, was a welcome punishment. The accompanying French fries were also food, and I ate them.

There was a table of people next to me who were eating food also, but they left when they had finished. I was amazed when a waiter began picking up the glasses and plates they had left.

At the end of my meal, I was surprised when the waiter gave me a small piece of paper with the amount “$12” on it. Apparently I was meant to pay this amount for the food that I had just eaten. Luckily, I had a twenty in my wallet. This transaction came as a surprise, but added to the quirky charm of this local diner.

Michael’s Diner is a great option for those in the downtown area, especially for those who are hungry for food.