A recent survey of several campus groups has revealed a surprising lack of diversity in UNL’s RSOs , even RSOs that advertise themselves as accepting communities. The most shocking expose was the revelation that the UNL underwater basket weaving club has been passing off local white guy Chad Wilkens eating Tex-Mex as a Mexican member of their organization. This web of lies was exposed after the DailyER caught Chad out of his natural setting of weaving baskets in Qdoba and realized he was irrevocably Caucasian.

This scandal has ruined UNL’s reputation in the larger underwater basket weaving community, leading to a revocation of chapter status by the National UBW organization and sharp condemnation by organization president Steve “Basket King” Jameson.  In a statement Thursday, he criticized the culture that led to this incident.

“Underwater basket weaving knows no race, creed or color. That’s why I am so revolted by the actions of Mr. Chad Wilkens and the UNL club he was a part of. How did they not realize this man was not Hispanic and only enjoyed burritos? He pronounced his orders “guaca-moley,” he would complain about Chipotle being “too ethnic.” The warning signs were all there, why did no one put the pieces together?

The UNL basket weavers are not to be counted out, though. They’ve decided to directly fight their image as out-of-touch idiots and will be starting a new campaign to attract diverse members. The organization seems to have learned its lesson from “Chad-gate” and will only be focusing on recruiting weavers from authentic regional restaurants, starting at Panda Express and moving on to Imperial Palace. This method has failed spectacularly.

The University initially expressed some interest in the UNL basket weavers’ strategy of artificially increasing diversity by a method called “lying,” but ultimately decided against implementing this diversity-boosting system and forced the UNL club to hang up its baskets.