Despite the frigid temperatures, freshman biology major, Jeff Johnson, is feeling the heat. With fall semester drawing to a close he, along with thousands of other students majoring in fields other than business or advertising, is putting in long hours of studying.
“Those A’s don’t earn themselves,” said Johnson as he scurried into Love Library last Thursday ready to spend the cold December afternoon preparing for his dreaded Chemistry 109 final.
Instead of browsing Facebook in the library while drinking expensive energy drinks and lattes, Johnson fought the social norm and actually studied. His steady-paced progress was hindered however when the brother’s of Gamma Triangle Beta met for mandatory study hours at a nearby table. Distracted by their obnoxious squandering, Johnson politely relocated to the library’s quiet lower level stacks.
“They were a little loud but I’m not going to let it bother me,” said Johnson. “I’m sure they were just having fun.”
After spending a majority of his weekend secluded in the basement of Love Library, Johnson began acting strangely.
“He kept talking about rocket launchers and demons,” said Johnson’s roommate Chad Smith, “he was sleep deprived and had been wired on Adderall for days.”
As Monday rolled around Johnson returned to the library anxious to get some studying done before the fraternity members could interrupt him. He was too late. The brothers of Gamma Triangle Beta had already arrived and Johnson was once again exiled to the basement to find a quiet area. Alone in the stacks, Johnson continued on his path of self destruction.
According to student who was also in the basement Johnson began pacing in circles and mumbling “The walls are telling me to take back my territory,” and “those frat boys will never see it coming.” Worried for his life and the safety of others the student, who wishes to remain anonymous, called campus police.
When police arrived to reprimand Johnson they found six pocket knives and a copy of Grand Theft Auto V on his person. He was escorted to the Campus Police Station for questioning and psychological help.
