A DailyER Investigation

Standing 400 feet over the prairie, this art deco tower, also known as the Nebraska State Capitol, has held many secrets over the years. Entering the Capitol from the top of the north stairs reveals a beautiful and detailed interior, which, suspiciously, is also very distracting; almost as if someone were trying to hide something in plain sight.

A quick scan of its Wikipedia page would reveal a lot about the State Capitol, but most telling of all is what is not published. Nowhere on the Wikipedia page are the words “missile” or “silo” used at all to describe the building, which, strangely enough, is exactly what the structure appears to be to anyone with a truthful eye.

The quaint yet elegant elevators reveal a major flaw that the architect, Bertram Grosvenor Goodhue, failed to conceal, a mistake that makes the real purpose of the Capitol stick out like a sore thumb: only three floors open to the public, but eighteen buttons. If that doesn’t make the hair on the back of your neck stand up, then this surely will: according to its Wikipedia page, the Capitol only has fifteen floors! Upon an even closer look at the buttons, the undeniable existence becomes clear of the three nuclear missiles harbored inside of the tower… and how to launch them.

The button panel inside each elevator shows floors, but hidden in between them are the floors “M1,” “M2” and “M3,” which are obvious abbreviations for (do I really need to say it?) missiles! How does it work, you ask? Simply pushing the button to launch the missiles became too much of a risk in recent years due to the influx of Capitol visitors, so the government had to include a high end, Area-51-esque ID security system into each elevator to prevent a curious tourist like myself from starting a nuclear Armageddon.

Until a Nebraskan legislator can prove me wrong with an all-access tour of the Capitol, this conspiracy is the truth.