Following the suspension of his closest rival’s campaign, Newt Gingrich declared that he is officially “in a two-person race” for Mill Creek Middle School Student Council in Woodstock, Georgia.

The beleaguered candidate, whose fund-raising efforts have flagged in the last month, was reportedly forced to ask his sister, Candice, for spending money. Records also indicate that a check for 300 Silly Bandz, written by his campaign, bounced at Walgreen’s this week.

His main competitor, 7th grader Mitchell Romani, took to the playground to address his opponent’s financial troubles.

“Come on, guys… he wrote a check. He’s got to be, like my grandpa’s age. Why doesn’t he have a debit card? Does he even go here?”

Setting aside the challenges of his bank account and a likability gap exacerbated by the fact that Mitchell’s dad owns the local arcade, Gingrich has vowed to fight on.

“I might not get the folks in each homeroom to vote for me,” he told the principal when he was called in to talk about using his inside voice, “but when everyone comes together in the lunchroom, they’ll know that I’m the true conservative here. Can I have my bullhorn back now?”

An unscientific opinion poll conducted in room 103B indicates that the average 6th grader thinks Gingrich is creepy and that boob is a funny word.