Breaking an oath of secrecy, numerous NFL players have spoken about a fantasy league made up of everyday people that’s been running since August.
“Fantasy is fun for everyone else,” said Andy Dalton, quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals. “We get the shaft. Who doesn’t want to have fun? We play a dumb game all day. We need something to do to relax after work. For a lot of players, this is the best way to unwind.”
The rules of the player’s league are very similar to those in normal fantasy football leagues. Players take turns drafting everyday people, then monitor their life, assigning points for certain actions. Each player gets a set number of people, forming a team, then goes head to head with other teams every week. The team with the most points wins.
As with traditional fantasy football, there’s competition to build the best team. Kevin James-Andover of Milwaukee, Wis. was one of the most sought-after people of this year’s draft, going second overall to San Francisco 49ers wide receiver Michael Crabtree.
“He was the best pick I made this year,” said a beaming Crabtree. “Yesterday he paid all his bills right when he got them. How clutch is that? He even got a workout in before work the next day.”
The inverse is true as well. Some picks are risky come draft day, and there’s always a bust or two.
“I picked up David Connelly thinking he’d be contributing weekly,” Packers linebacker Clay Matthews said of the Pasadena, Cal. native. “I guess our definitions of ‘contributing’ are different. I thought it meant vacuuming more than once every three months and not eating a whole thing of vanilla bean ice cream while marathoning ‘Numb3rs’ for the seventh time.”
With the playoffs fast approaching, trades have been abundant. Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford has been in the midst of many of these trades with a unique game plan.
“I’m looking for anyone that’s gone homeless since the draft,” Stafford said. “My theory is, as temperatures drop, they’ll try to get their act together. Mike Wallups is a good example. His productivity has been way down since losing his home in the divorce, but I doubt he’ll stay this cheap.”
“It’ll help if he stops drinking,” Stafford added.
Whether Stafford’s plan works or not is yet to be seen. What is apparent, though, is that the players are having a lot of fun with the league.
“I love fantasy,” said New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. “It really lets me get away from how harsh my life can be.”
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to see if anyone of my team got to work on time today,” Brady added.