The Dailyer answers some frequently asked questions about the Affordable Care Act.

Visit healthcare.gov for more information.

Q) When can I expect the death panels to come to my door? – Karen, 67, Omaha

A) Great question Karen, the death squads will only come to your door if your pre-existing condition costs more to treat than the monthly premiums you pay. Or, if you are a registered Republican currently taking Social Security.

Q) My husband just contracted lupus, polio, and gonorrhea. Should I leave him? – Suzie, 38, York

A) Suzie, since those three diseases were not pre-existing conditions, you are legally allowed to opt for a clean break.

Q) I’ve heard that you can register to vote while signing up for healthcare, does that mean I have to vote? – Steven, 32, Columbus

A) Steven, if you read the fine print of the bill, you will find that you are mandated to write-in Barack Obama for all major public offices as long as you have that health insurance. Always, remember our Almighty Healer, Steven.

Q) My Grandma is a Tea Party Patriot, and she tells me that if I buy health insurance through Obamacare that I will be mandated to receive an annual colonoscopy from Nancy Pelosi, and then eat a plate of steamed broccoli in front of Michelle Obama while Joe Biden rubs Vick’s Vapor Rub on his bare chest. Is this true? – Julie , 23, Lincoln

A) Not many people have picked up on that part of the bill, but your Grandmother hit the nail on the head. Good on her for doing her homework.