By Gunner Redford

When I dressed up in my good ol’ trusty cow boots n’ jeans last Tuesday, I was ready for one hell of a rodeo. Little did I rode-y-know that them folks in charge of career fairs ‘round here don’t know the first thing ‘bout a good fair.

Instead of pigpens and horse stables, they got these guys lined up in bidness suits handin’ out tickets with they’s company names on ‘em, but I didn’t see no prize booth nowhere. I wanted to grab me big ol’ footlong hot dog, but all I could find was a teeny tiny table with cookies and two tin cans fulla water and tea.

I even brought my sweet girl Betty Sue out to the event hopin’ to catch a smooch on top’a that merry-go-round they always got. She got all dolled up, looking real pertty, but there wadn’t a single carnival ride in the whole dang place.

I even tried goin’ ‘round to dem bidness guys showing off pitchers of my best cow back home, but alls they wanted ta see was somefin’ called a “rezoomay.” I just kept on a’telling them, “Yes, you may see more pitchers of my prize winnin’ cows.”

These city folk ain’t got no idea how’ta pull off a fair. Next time I’ll fer sure be going to one of them real career fairs down on East Campus.