Well, that’s it. The sun has officially set on Husker football this fall.* The Saturday tradition of blacking out at Memorial Stadium by halftime will have to take place elsewhere. What are the Big Red masses to do without their prime time pigskin play from our boys in scarlet and cream? Well, thanks to a recent pop-up ad on my computer, I think I’ve got the perfect solution for everyone.

*(This article was written before Nebraska successfully begged for another chance to get brutally killed by Ohio and got the season back. – Editor) 

While I was reading an article on Nebraska football being canceled this fall, I got this flashy box to pop up right in the middle of my screen. The ad read “ALERT: There are hot MILFs in your area and they want to meet YOU!” Honestly, I didn’t even know what a MILF was at first, so I had to look up what it meant. Once I found out what a “MILF” was, I was like hey, that’s pretty cool. Like all this time I would have spent at Memorial Stadium, skin burning to a crisp, all while the Huskers lose by 17 to a mid-major school, I could have been spending meeting up with all these MILFs in my area. That’s a dollar savings from not spending money on tickets and overpriced Runzas from Husker games and on top of this, these MILFs will buy me a Playstation 5? Why are more people not doing this?

I don’t know about you, but I’m really not all that bummed that Husker football is getting canceled. We are becoming the laughing stock of the Big 10 and the NCAA, so this will spare us at least a little bit of our dignity. And now, I’ve got all this extra time to meet up with all these MILFs that are in my area. Score! And all I had to do was enter my credit card number, Social Security number, and my address to meet all of these MILFs. Husker football is temporary. Hot MILFs in your area are forever.