Editor’s Note: This article is a part of the Daily Nebraskan and DailyER joint satirical issue, the HalfasskanER.
I’m pretty let down about the spring concert this year.
UPC usually does a great job of booking things college students enjoy, like hypnotists and motivational speakers who aren’t quite good enough to have a TED talk. Unfortunately, the standard was not met this year.
I mean, T-Pain? I know I speak on behalf of the entire student body when I say that this choice is a disappointment.
Their defense of this choice was spotty at best. He’s popular? I don’t think so. He’s reasonably priced? Sure, but maybe one of the magicians they hire could make a bigger budget appear so they can book someone who didn’t stop being relevant when I was in middle school.
At this point, you might be thinking, “Great, you can chew out those hard workers over at UPC, but are you going to offer this terrible situation any help?”
You bet I am.
Instead of T-Pain, UPC should have booked my favorite band, The Wet Slaps. They’re a great act, and UPC made a huge mistake by not booking them.
UPC did the entire university a disservice by not booking my favorite musical act for the spring concert. As an individual student, I’m ashamed that my university didn’t pander directly to my niche tastes.
Look at it this way: we all know who T-Pain is (related: Who is T-Pain, anyways?). One of the purposes of going to a university is to be exposed to new ideas and cultures. I’m perfectly willing to offer up my excellent taste in music to the masses of UNL.
I’m absolutely certain UNL students would enjoy The Wet Slaps. One of the forerunners of Moist Rock, their sound is like replacing your turntable’s needle with sandpaper. Good stuff.
They’d put on a memorable show. Their low-energy, quiet sets are just the thing for UNL’s vibrant student body. We could even save UPC money by not needing to rent out the Pinnacle Bank Arena. They can just play in my basement.
It’s up to you, UPC. You can mildly please most of the student body, or make me very happy.
