The DailyER

‹ previous next ›

Do YOUR part to help UNL save money!

The University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s budget is on the chopping block, and you know whose fault it is? It’s YOURS! YOU, the students, have been taking advantage of UNL’s generosity for years, wastefully using up every resource in sight. Here are some tips on how to be a better campus citizen and save the school we love:

  • Bring your own napkins: You may be a messy eater, but your appetite for napkins is making UNL’s budget even messier. Next time you hit the dining hall, stop by Walgreens first and grab a 100-count pack of Bounty.
  • Buy parking passes for every garage: So you only have one car, but imagine if you could park that car anywhere you wanted. Don’t have a car? Now you’ll have designated spots all over campus to hang out with friends or just take a nap.
  • Add a 20% gratuity to your tuition: This is a simple and affordable gesture that’s sure to make everyone at the Bursar’s Office smile.
  • Buy extra textbooks for fun bedtime reading: For just a few hundred dollars each, you can kick back and enjoy some relaxing business law, upper-level chemistry or Japanese before you drift off to sleep.
  • Volunteer at a dining hall: Maybe you’ve volunteered at a soup kitchen before, but how about helping out someone who really needs it: the state’s largest public university. Just walk into any dining hall and start scooping up some grub for hungry students, and UNL will owe you no hourly wages whatsoever.
  • Throw back any free hot dogs you catch at the games: Sure, catching a flying weiner at Memorial Stadium is fun, but you know what’s even more fun? Tossing it back so that same sausage can be launched again, and again, and again.
  • Pour extra water into the fountains: Next time you have a free afternoon, buy a 24-pack of Aquafina and pour all the bottles into the nearest water fountain. Loading up UNL’s pipes with extra water is the least you can do for all those times you wastefully flushed the toilets and washed your hands.
  • Teach yourself: Why are you making your professors waste their time teaching you when you could learn everything you need to know from YouTube tutorials? Just watch some awkward guy stammer into a webcam every day and you’ll become an expert in any subject imaginable. But don’t unenroll from UNL, you’ll need that degree — and most importantly, don’t stop paying your 14 cents a year for The DailyER.