In a letter to recent graduates of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, Chancellor Harvey Perlman offered some solace to those who had missed the opportunity to celebrate the occasion due to inclement weather and the University’s complete inability to plan.

“First off, let me say again that I’m really sorry,” began the letter. “But, again, it’s not really our fault: as you know, the weather in Nebraska is always completely calm this time of year. Regardless, consider this an olive branch to show you how apologetic we really are.”

The letter went on to explain that, in light of the cancellation, all May graduates were welcome to attend the birthday party of Perlman’s 9 year old niece, Alicia, on July 6th.

“Alicia has gracefully agreed to let you all come to her birthday party,” the letter continued. “Here, you’ll be able to walk across the bouncy castle to receive your diploma, take a picture with the birthday girl, and eat a nice slice of cake while you’re at it. Really, it’s a win-win for everyone.”

Alicia, the daughter of Perlman’s youngest brother, is reportedly delighted to have more guests coming. She told reporters late Monday evening that she hoped that her classmate Ricky, the “cute one,” would be attending the party because his oldest brother graduated in May.

Perlman himself has stated he will not be at the party, owing to scheduling conflicts. “It’s my day to record a few more of the ‘Perls of Knowledge’ videos, because I know how much you all like those. Admittedly, we could have spent the money from the videos on renting the Pershing Center or something for the graduation, but there’s no use crying over spilled milk. I know you all love watching me be witty. Sarcasm is really important to bringing more students into this fine University, which you all should be donating to, by the way.”

Reaction to the letter has been mixed. Many students say that, while they appreciate the gesture, it doesn’t make up for the fact that the University didn’t plan properly to begin with, communicated poorly about the situation the entire time, and ultimately shrugged off the problem before expecting praise for their hastily arranged, badly executed solution.

“My family came in from the east coast, and we all ended up being shoved into an overheated practice center and were told to be happy about it,” said one recent Arts & Sciences grad. “We had to wait in line forever for a picture with a dean who left three days later for Ohio State, and then were asked to donate to the University in a letter the next day. It really was a waste of money and time.”

Perlman has yet to respond to reports that, in addition to being asked to donate to a University that completely screwed them out of a proper graduation ceremony, they would be required to bring a birthday present to Alicia. The birthday girl, for her part, told the press that it’s “only fair that they should bring me stuff. I didn’t completely ignore all the warning signs like the University did. What am I, 6?”

At press time, an anonymous report has suggested that a contingent of recent grads would be attending the party and “pre-gaming at the Union, BYOB. Stick that in your dry campus.”