Day One:

Wow. Miranda was really happy today. I love when she’s in those moods because it means I get extra flakes at the top of my water. I do wish I would have eaten them slower, though. Now my stomach hurts…

Day Two:

So Miranda didn’t come home this morning. I hope that means she was with that guy she keeps gushing about on that talking box. She always talks to it and calls it Morgan. She tells Morgan alllll about this Matthew guy. She said she wanted to spend the night with him, so maybe now she’ll give me more attention and less to the Morgan box.

Day Three:

I think Matthew stole Miranda.

Maybe it’s selfish, but couldn’t they come back here for a night? Then Miranda could give me some more flakes… I love those flakes.

Day Three Again:

It has been forever. I need flakes. I thought this was good for both of us, Miranda, but I hate Matthew.

I hope you’re okay.

I hope you come back soon.

Day Four:

I think the end is near. I haven’t seen a flake in days. Miranda, I know you’re out there somewhere. I loved being in your dorm. I felt like an MVP (Most Valuable Pet) the whole time — it’s not every kind of pet that gets to follow you to the new, cool school. I hope you and Matthew are happy. Maybe one day, you’ll fall in love and get another fish.

*Door creaks*

MIRANDA, IS THAT YOU?

She’s on the talking box again. This time she calls it “Mom.”

I think I can survive. I think she’s going to give me flakes.

She said she had a great “fall break.”

What the fuck is a fall break? And why is it trying to kill me???